Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

By God’s plan, the most important purpose of marriage is companionship. However in Ghana and in most developing countries, children are the focus of marriage and a marriage without children is seen as a bad omen.

Every woman, therefore, yearns to be a mother. Unfortunately, global studies shows 10 per cent of women cannot have children by natural means.

The causes of infidelity in women are many; the inability to produce healthy eggs, blockage of fallopian tubes and defective uterus which reject fertilised eggs. 

The good news today is that a woman with defective womb, complications, history of miscarriage and high biological age can have a baby through a surrogate mother - a woman who carries in pregnancy an embryo implanted in her womb and who is genetically a stranger to the embryo because it has been obtained through the union of gametes of donors. 

She carries the pregnancy with the pledge to surrender the baby to the biological parents once it is born.

The process is simple; a woman’s egg is fertilised in vitro (test-tube). The fertilised egg is implanted into the uterus of another woman till she delivers. 

The woman who accepts to carry someone’s egg is a surrogate woman. 

Studies show surrogate mothers are gradually increasing everywhere including Ghana with high success rate. 

For example, in the US, studies show about 10 of such children are born in each state in a month. The question is; will you accept to be a surrogate mother?

Those who will accept

Women have many needs and for a young woman with little money to spend but wanting to be abreast of modern fashion, surrogacy appears an easy option to be rich. You only need proper antenatal care for nine months. 

In the US for example, a surrogate mother could earn up to $50,000 for carrying someone’s baby for nine months. 

You will be given the best of what life has to offer during your pregnancy –insurance, good meals and good accommodation to ensure the safety of the unborn child.

Many marriages in Ghana break down due to childlessness. If you accept to be a surrogate mother, you save a marriage and grow a family which Pope John Paul sees as the sanctuary of love, a place where life is nurtured and protected. 

In some tribes in Ghana, a woman who has difficulty getting children may be given a child by a sibling or close relative. Surrogacy could be a better option. You will look back and be proud of what you have done.

Those who will not

During pregnancy, nature creates a special bond between the mother and the unborn child. However, a surrogate mother has no legal rights or responsibility towards the child. You may never see your ‘child’ again. 

This may create emotional hurt which may dispose you to mental and physical harm.

To be a surrogate mother, you have to give complete medical history of yourself, parents and siblings to enhance eligibility. 

For example, you have to go through test to ensure you are healthy, within 21-35 years and have already given birth to healthy baby or babies. 

Many Ghanaians are uncomfortable giving personal medical details of themselves.

Some religious faiths including the Catholic Church reject surrogate motherhood. 

The reason is that pregnancy must come from husband and wife in normal penetrative intercourse because only the two spouses have reciprocal rights over each other for purpose of pregnancy . 

Surrogacy is contrary to the dignity of procreation of the human person and therefore unethical.

Will you accept to be a surrogate mother?

This year, a rich woman unable to conceive approached a poor young single mother who is a ‘squatter’ in the neighbourhood and offered her GH¢50,000 to be her surrogate mother. 

The young woman and her father readily accepted the offer because they knew the money would transform their lives. 

The mother of the young woman, however, rejected the offer. She insists any child from her daughter’s womb belongs to the extended family and can never be given away at any offer.

Back to the question; will you be a surrogate mother? Some will accept, others will reject any such offer. 

If you accept you are right. If you reject the offer you are also right. What you are today is the product of the choices you have made in your life.

Email jydboakye01@gmail.com

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