Being your husband’s side chick

I knew my marriage was over when a friend asked me the last time I had sex with my husband and I couldn’t remember. Things were bad but I didn’t realize how bad they were until that moment.

However, it wasn’t always like that. On the contrary, my ex-husband was a certified lover boy when we were dating. We were good friends and became partners after realizing that he was truly the love of my life. After a few dates, I knew that I would end up marrying him. The one thing that attracted me the most to my ex was how loving he was. Despite being a busy man, he made time for us and always made sure that I felt loved.

 So, I found it ironic that we were getting a divorce because our love life had become stale. He must have realized his loss because soon after the divorce, I became his side chick.

Steve and I may have had our issues but the last thing I ever expected was a divorce. I was willing to put up with a lot of things in my marriage hoping that he would have a light bulb moment and change his ways but that never happened and as the days went by, I felt more neglected to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally confronted him.

“Is there someone else?” I asked on the verge of tears.

“What?!” He exclaimed. “How can you even think that? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Then why don’t you pay attention to me anymore? I’ve cried myself to sleep for months and you don’t even care.”

“I have a lot of things on my mind. You know the business has been struggling for more than a year and it’s only getting worse. The last thing on my mind is being intimate.”

“If that’s how you feel, it’s fine but I can’t live like this anymore.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I want a divorce.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want, then I’m fine with it.”

He didn’t even fight back. He was out of the house the following day. Despite asking for it, I didn’t want to accept that I was getting a divorce and it was very difficult at first. It also didn’t help that I was still communicating with Steve almost every day.

My friends used to come to visit me every day so I wouldn’t feel lonely. Meanwhile, it seemed like Steve had been waiting to get a divorce because it didn’t take long for him to find another woman.

“Who’s the new woman? Were you cheating on me with her?” I asked him over the phone.

“You and your wild imagination. I just met her a few days ago.”

“But you’re already posting her on your WhatsApp status. What will our friends say?”

“She’s my new employee. You know I always post new employees so my clients know who they’re dealing with.”

“Well, you should give me a heads up next time.”

“If you miss me, just say it.” He joked.

I laughed it off but in reality, I did miss him. However, I had to stay strong because Steve was used to having his way. I knew he was only being flirty because I wasn’t with him anymore. If we reconciled, things would go back to how they were.

A few months went by and the divorce process was going faster than I expected. Steve and I had also grown distant which made the divorce even harder. Eventually, we stopped talking to each other and went on with our lives separately. After two years, the divorce was finalized. Steve and I agreed to meet one last time to say our goodbyes in person.

I decided to wear something that would remind him of what he had lost. I went through my closet and selected several dresses to try out before settling for a short navy blue dress. After getting dressed, I headed to our meeting place.

Steve was already there and to my surprise, he had brought company. I quickly learnt she was his new girlfriend.

“This is Sasha, my girlfriend, and this is Maureen, my ex-wife.” He introduced us.

“Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking her hand.

Instead of getting jealous, I held my head high and reminded myself what I was there to do – make Steve realize what he lost. I was giggly like a little schoolgirl and kept playing with my hair as I talked. Eventually, I got Steve’s attention.

“You look different. Did you change your hair?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just got it done yesterday.”

“And your nails too. You look good.”

“Thanks.”

Checkmate. I got his attention and for the rest of the evening, he couldn’t keep his eyes off me. When Sasha went to the washroom, he confessed his feelings to me.

“I’ve really missed you, Maureen. Things haven’t been the same since we separated.”

“You had two years to stop the divorce and you didn’t.”

“I thought that you didn’t love me or want me back but I can see that you do.”

“You’re in another relationship, Steve.”

“And? You can’t deny that you want me too.”

Before I could respond, Sasha came back. We changed the subject but Steve sent me a message asking me if he could come over to the house after dinner. I was hesitant but agreed.

We went our separate ways and a few hours later, I got a call from Steve.

“I’m here. Open the door.”

As soon as I opened the door, he swept me off my feet and started kissing me. I kissed him back then he placed me down and we made our way to the house while holding hands. We didn’t talk much and he ended up spending the night.

I thought it was a one-time thing but he would message me randomly asking to come to my place. I became my ex-husband’s side chick without realizing it. We hooked up for a year before his girlfriend found out and broke up with him.

Despite our attraction towards each other, we both agreed that we didn’t want anything more and continued having a casual relationship. It recently ended when I realized that I was in my mid-30s and needed to focus on building a more meaningful relationship.