Marriage: Can it survive the onslaught of modernity?

Marriage is often said to be ailing.

It is fashionably dismissed and taken for granted.

Once a great institution, it has been undermined by more blasé attitudes to pre-marital sex, cohabitation, divorce and recently, by legislations of gay marriages in certain jurisdictions of the world.

Sometimes, when marriage collapses, people do not bother with divorce, instead they separate from their spouse and move on with new partners. 

In some instances, some people say, “now I am married to my new love.”

Technically, this is illegal but nobody interferes.

We are yet to see prosecution for bigamy in any of our courts. 

Religious, secular efforts

Despite new attitudes toward marriages in recent times, some secular and religious people are endeavouring to ensure that the rite retains its rightful place in society.

I was privileged to witness, years back at the Olympian Exhibition Centre in Western London, an event dubbed, “The National Wedding Show.”

Some 300 merchants turned up to sell everything needed to throw a wedding, with florists, harpists, teeth whiteners, tiara-sellers, a fireworks firm and more than a dozen photographers.

A company, Hitch and Pooch, arranged for dogs to be ring-bearers.

Every 24 hours, a blast of music announced a cat-walk show consisting entirely of wedding dresses and groom suits.

Some religious organisations also have mass wedding arrangements on their calenders for their members, who wish to tie the knot.

This is intended to deal with the challenges of affordability. 

Views

For centuries, marriage was an essential step on the road to adulthood.

In England for example, all single women no matter how old were “maids” and all single men were “lads.”

Preachers argue that marriage was that crucial bond holding together the household, which was in turn the foundation of society.

The idea that people ought to wed and then form a household with a primarily male bread winner crushed every alternative view; presently, other alternative views are widespread.

Revolution

Nervously and steadily, most conservative societies and religious groups are letting go of old ways and groping for something else, when it comes to marriage.

Of late, urban anonymity and technology are enabling the young ones to challenge more fundamental social rules regarding relationships, culture and class.

When it comes to looking for a partner and hooking up, mobile phones and the internet have revolutionised everything, making looking for love easy for the youth.

Parental roles in these matters are no longer regarded as highly as in the past.

With phones, the youth can easily engage and relate.

The growth of match-making sites on the net have also given the young ones more control over the search and choice of a partner.

Love, life

There is a reason to worry about the quality and longevity of people’ intimate bonds, because out of love comes life.

 Relationships often produce children and children are profoundly affected by how their parents get on.

In an era where fewer people have secure jobs or secure livelihoods, it may seem odd to expect them to leap into life-long romantic commitments. 

Such realities are making the institution of marriage take on different forms yet to be recognised.

The writer is with the Institute of Current Affairs and Diplomacy (ICAD).

E-mail: Lawmat2014@gmail.com