Weddings today

Weddings years back was meant to give blessings to newly traditional married couples in a church.

 Blessing of marriages was normally done with a short prayer from pastors and then the congregation, with which many of our parents happily lived without debts after their traditional marriage day. 

Many young people today, want to have their weddings in a classic grand style whereas the bank account is empty from home.

This means many from poor backgrounds go the extra mile to loan for their weeding’s in order to have a classic wedding as they call it.

Marriage, as some may know, is an intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life.

The purpose of marriage from the bible is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him.

Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.

Biblically, a traditional marriage has been defined by “a state instituted and ordained by God for the lifelong relationship between one man as husband and one woman as a wife.”

Today, unsatisfactory of life and wishes beyond individual capabilities, has lead many young people into living beyond their limit, by wanting their weddings to be like or better than Akuas own. While he or she has nothing at home to boast of.

As a result of these, many have ended in debts for years more than the one-day classic wedding.

Yes! Marriage is beautiful, and love as others may say can make you go the extra mile, to put smiles on your partners face.

 Come back home for a minute. Think into the future and the children you are yet to make. Have you gotten any plans for them? do you have plans of having your own house or company, what do you really want.

Hmm ok! So after all that classic wedding dress and cake, what happens inside the pot at home? What plans do you really have for the pregnancy and the child yet unborn? What happens to the rent, water bill and light bills? What happens to the stocking of the fridge when you spend over Gh 250,000 and even more over one ring with loans?

Many easily forget those rich families with all those grand weddings, already had their own plans and money, of which banks won’t be banging their doors each day, living them restless.

With all these frustrations what joy will you really have after it all?

The old days of marriage               

I know many of the young ladies and gents will say, we have passed those days, “we are in the 21^st century and must enjoy our wedding day. Yes! I agree with you, but give me a little time to cast your mind back to the oldies where you don’t need much for weddings.

The reality of marriage in centuries past was much more practical than throwing the garter, emptying bank accounts, doing the duck dance, going for loans, planning for weddings and merging bank accounts.

For most of history, it was all about traditional marriage and blessings with prayer at church, marriages were more about getting in-laws and reproduction.

Back then, marriage was the main way you established cooperative relationships with other families.

Though the definition of marriage “an agreement between two people” has never changed, if you take a look into history it seems as though the idea of traditional marriage has its own meaning than today.

Many do not value traditional marriage anymore, where parents lay hands on their children to pronounce blessings on their kin.

Today, many want to have weddings in courts, church etc., with ten best men, ten maid of honour, and six steps of cake, luxurious wedding cars, most expensive wedding dress and suit to be the topic of the day.

Let’s listen to what a victim has to say.

Victim’s advice

A seamstress from Peki in the Volta Region, Mrs Loretta Boateng, sharing her experience said she went through so much sorrow and frustration with her husband just a week after their wedding.

This is as a result of taking a loan in order to have a classic wedding.

She said they had to battle with banks and courts until after their second child was born, because of a loan for a wedding.

According to her, both of them had to sell some of their properties including lands in order to pay their debts.

“A sum of hundred and fifty thousand Ghana Cedis (GH 150.000) took away the joy we ever dreamt of after their marriage.”

Her advice

“All fingers are not the same, just live within your limit and be happy with what you have; don’t go in for big things because others did. Just be you”

She added that there is more to marriage after all the big things we dream of, and that must be planned ahead of time before entering.

She further said, parents must speak to their children and guide them in making decisions especially in relation to marriage.

She said during preparations, parents must be on guard because marriage over excitement can make young people pick wrong advice from their co-friends.

Mrs Loretta further cautions mothers especially, not to overtake decisions for them, but rather guide them on the right paths, so as to not regret later in life as she did.

“Let’s rethink into the expenses being made for weddings wither rich or poor, especially when loans have to come in.”

To the young ladies

She added that mostly, the idea of loans comes from yet to be brides," but I want them to know that to be a virtuous woman, you need to think outside the box of what makes you happy.

You need to think of the happiness of the home and not yours. If you want your husband to be, to get you the most expensive rings knowing very well his monthly salary is GH 1,000, let him get you what he can afford.”

She said, let’s stop fighting for what we don’t have, and appreciate the little things that bring us peace.

“Ladies, start dreaming of how to make the home a happy place and not the woman who brings debts at home.”                                    

Let’s plan and invest in the future for the next generation, then doing big things for a day’s wedding.

The wedding is not the main marriage, but what happens after the wedding.

Is good to have grand weddings, but watch it when unaffordable loans have to come in.

writer"s email-mabelfaithtannor@gmail.com