Why do people kill their loved ones for money? Why do others risk their health through prostitution? Why do people engage in illegalities they would normally avoid? One reason: desperation.
Desperation, like seduction, leads you where you never dreamt of going!
Many situations make us vulnerable. Our gender can make us vulnerable. Our background can expose us to some vulnerability. Even how we think can make us vulnerable. If we are desperate in life, we are vulnerable, too.
Desperation is not a good place to be. It makes us make decisions we haven't thought much about. When you are desperate, you let your guard down and lower your standards.
You make choices based only on your present circumstances. Anything can walk into a desperate life because its doors are flung wide open!
A woman desperate for a job will do anything for it. A young man desperate for fame will subject his life to anything as long as it gets him noticed.
If you want to see a vulnerable man or woman, look out for a desperate one. The consequences of their decisions mean almost nothing to them.
Desperation is a dangerous place to be. In this place, we confidently make decisions we know we'll later regret.
It makes us assume our decision will bring us less discomfort, only to realise it brought us far more. Desperation is what makes us flee from the frying pan into the fire!
When people reach desperation, they reach vulnerability—a place where anything becomes acceptable. Desperation makes you vulnerable.
When I see society, directly or indirectly, pushing people into desperation, I shake my head in dismay. It tugs at my heartstrings to see our young men and, especially, women reach a point where they feel they must marry at all costs, despite the uncertainties and unanswered questions that may lie ahead. It is a dangerous thing to allow desperation to dictate such an important decision.
People fret when they are desperate. They don’t think straight. They base all their decisions on what others think—whether it is good for them or not. When desperation sets in, we focus on how old we are getting instead of whether a prospective spouse is even the right person for us. A desperate man or woman sees no bad spouse because desperation blurs every red flag.
No man or woman is as vulnerable as one who’s desperate for marriage. They don’t mind dying on the cross all over again for a ring. They don’t mind putting their lives on the line just to be walked down the aisle!
The irony is that only when we face the consequences of our desperate choices do we notice that some pastures looked green only from a distance. Sometimes, the greener pastures we see from a distance are only a mirage.
It is only when we are confronted with the consequences of our desperate decisions that we realise we have become more miserable in marriage than we were when we were single. Those who fuel our desperate choices are often nowhere to be found when reality catches up with us; instead, they may be the very ones who mock us when it finally does.
Desperation makes us vulnerable. We should make important life decisions calmly and with the right frame of mind, taking the time to think things through before making a choice. Our future should matter enough to us that we never make life-changing decisions in haste. We must always pause and weigh reality before taking the next step.
Desperation will leave us worse than it found us. It will make us choose spouses we’ll someday wish we hadn’t chosen. Desperation will fall for charm, with little concern for character, because it has no time to look deeper. Before desperation, there may be some regret. After desperation, there’s even more regret.
Desperation leaves little time to spare, so almost all decisions are based on short-term feelings. A woman desperate for marriage cares little about who a man really is. In haste to please society, she'll fall for anything. A desperate man doesn’t mind walking his enemy down the aisle as long as it earns him the accolade “married man”.
Life comes after our decisions, and it will tell whether we were desperate or carefully considered them. We don’t need to fall for everything that comes our way. Only a desperate soul calls everything a blessing.
Not every ram caught in a bush is from God. Not every burning bush signals God's presence. We need to discern. But when desperation takes hold, discernment has no room. We are vulnerable when desperate because we embrace every disciple as a friend, forgetting that some are Judases!
May you never say you were desperate at any point in your life. In business, don’t be desperate. You may end up in crippling partnerships. In relationships, don’t be desperate. You may end up in bed with someone’s husband before you even know it. In life, never be desperate. People will take advantage of your vulnerability.
It is always better to wait long for something than to rush into something else that looks like it… only to endure the pain of sticking with it for the rest of your life. Think about it.
Kobina Ansah is the Chief Scribe of Scribe Productions (www.scribeproductions.com) and Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com).
