Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Tetraoxosulphate (vI) , commonly called acid in Ghana is a colourless and viscous liquid. It is the most important industrial chemical and ranks first in chemical production in the United States. It has many uses in fertilisers, petroleum processing, plastics, detergents, dyes, insecticides and automobile storage batteries.

Acid is also corrosive and can eat away your skin, flesh and bones to deform and even kill.It is the least expensive acid and easily accessible. Today, many lovers, men and women use it as a weapon to handle conflicts.

This year, a 24-year-old woman told her lover that their relationship of three years was over. The man felt he has spent a lot to make the woman beautiful with a nahanaha or smooth skin. If he could no longer massage it, then no one should. He lured her to a secret place and poured acid on her. Today, the woman is completely disfigured, from head to toe.

There is also the case of a woman who saw her lover in a compromising position in the dark. Apparently premeditated, she ran home,returned with a gallon of acid and splashed it on the two suspected lovers.

Why throw acid?

Some lovers do not understand what true love is and therefore become abusive. A man may truly love a woman but may not know how to sustain a relationship. In conflicts, they have problems sustaining their frustration and anger

Some lovers have personality disorder and they feel happy when they hurt their lovers. It is also a fact that most lovers depend on their lovers for their self-esteem. They feel powerless and failed when their lovers leave or cheat and would attempt to redeem their ego by acts which make them feel they are powerful.

Some throw acids as a means of revenge. A lover ‘promises and fails’ without giving reasons. A lover may revenge when they feel ignored, cheated, abused or made to look foolish before others. They throw acid to sound a warning that you can’t hurt them and get away with it

Love does not throw acid

Dove says love is a verb and not a feeling. St John says there can be no greater love than to die for another. Love is, therefore, self-giving to make your lover better by the sacrifices you make for him or her. True love has no room for intolerance, immorality, inequality, selfishness, jealousy, envy and criticism.

True love is also not about revenge, a powerful emotion that leads lovers to do extreme things as they show bitterness, aggression and intolerance. You may feel vindicated to see your lover suffer when you hit back or throw acid on your lover but soon you see disappointment, sadness, shame and guilt. All acid throwers regret their action.

The decision to stay in a relationship or leave is a basic human right and no one, state or church can force anyone to stay against his or her will. It is normal to feel hurt when a lover leaves or cheats but it is a crime to hurt someone in the name of love. A relationship is an investment; you may win or lose.

St Paul sums up what love is; love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It does not delight in evil. It always protects (1 Cor. 13; 4-8). Love does not throw acid.

Email. Jydboakye01@gmail.com. The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of ‘your guide to marriage, love unlimited and the journey of love’,

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