Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

I saw a picture on social media recently. The groom was throwing his bouquet after the wedding and all the bachelors had taken to their heels! Indeed, men fear marriage more than death. Chai!

If a ‘typical’ bachelor should list the three things he fears most, it probably would be first, marriage. The second might be a repeat of the first. And… the third might be a repeat of the second! 

But… is it marriage that the typical bachelor indeed fears? I guess not. I think it is the plush party of a wedding society supposedly expects him to throw. It is that self-imposed pomp and pageantry he probably fears. In other words, men (particularly bachelors) fear weddings more than death. 

I am in my late 20s. As ‘young’ (being young is relative though) as I am, it still baffles me why a wedding should be the greatest investment I should ever make. Sadly, that’s what happens lately. The hard truth is a wedding is the only startup some couples would ever invest in… to start their lives. But… a wedding is not a startup!

If you live to impress, you will leave depressed.

We have too many young couples trying to impress society; trying to either beat/maintain supposed standards. Little do they know that no matter how much you try to impress society, it can’t be impressed. Never!

The weddings of such couples don’t give them out as one about starting life. Eventually, they leave for home to start their new lives as bankrupt doubles instead of happy couples. After all, who set those standards so-called?

We can’t live our life to the fullest if the best we can ever do for ourselves is to keep on comparing ourselves with others all day. We can’t be the best of ourselves if all we want to do is to live according to the will of others… and not ours. You start being yourself the day you begin to live by the conscience that you have no one to impress.

We invest our all into a wedding… and close to nothing into the marriage.

Welcome to the 21st century where bachelors and spinsters are so crazy about weddings yet care to know little or nothing about marriage.

I wish someone would be crazy for their marriage as much as they are for their wedding.

Being crazy about your marriage means preparing adequately for it as much as you would prepare for your wedding. A marriage is not the same as the wedding. Not at all.

I know someone would argue, “But it is a once-in-a-lifetime event so they should spend.” Like really!? Is the focus here on the once-in-a-lifetime wedding or the lifetime marriage!?

You spend according to where your focus is. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be, too.

Why would any couple hate themselves so much to spend overly (emphasis on overly) on their ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ event such that they pay the debt incurred for the rest of their lifetime? Who does that!?

And who said it, at least, is the first time they both get to do so many things together so they should spend that much? Come on. Not excuse enough. We know they have already been doing everything together. 

It is not such an experience you would even wish for your enemies… starting your marriage with your account glowing in red; starting a married life running on the wheels of loans. Chai! It is avoidable though.

Many young people today don’t even know marriage is not a wedding and a wedding comes no close to what marriage is.

They spend a chunk of their time planning the beauty of their wedding, yet assume that the beauty of their marriage should just happen!

In every aspect of life, we have needs… and wants. Marriage, for instance, is the need. Wedding is the want.

If we don’t know our priorities, our needs become our wants… and our wants become our needs.