Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

The relationship market has become very competitive. Younger and more daring women have flooded the market. 

Some fear being left on the shelf and this can cause fear and panic because in our tradition a woman is expected to marry and have children.

What will you do when while waiting to get into a relationship and marry, you find a prospective lover? Do you wait and hope he will come after you or chase after him?

An Akan adage says it is the dog that chases after a bone and not a bone after a dog. In our culture it is the man who is expected to chase after a woman. She is expected to show some resistance before giving in, otherwise you will be seen as cheap.

A woman who proposes to a man is seen as  immoral and desperate because she has given ‘scholarship’ to a man. If problems arise in the relationship, your man may retort that he did not want the relationship in the first place but that it was you who forced yourself on him. This comment can be humiliating to a woman. 

Love comes when you are not looking for it. Chasing after a man makes you forget about others who may be better. You chase after a human being instead of letting love come in naturally. 

You walk over rough diamonds to look for someone who may not be interested in you and, therefore, not a good match for you. You waste your resources to chase a butterfly and forget things that are important to you. 

When you meet the right guy, you do not have to chase after him because you both want to walk together and share all areas of your life.

Will you chase after a guy?

Security and companionship in a relationship are a woman’s greatest emotional needs. Whatever a man can do, a woman can do and even better.  

In this present time of gender equality, where women have successfully invaded roles traditionally reserved for men, nothing prevents a woman from seeking the desire of her heart.

Therefore if a man can chase a woman he loves, a woman can also chase a man she loves.  This is no bone and dog matter. It is a matter of the heart.

Many years ago, a girl met a boy at a student meeting. She loved him but lacked the courage to make a move. Now 15 years later when both have top jobs, are married and have family, the woman confesses she still loves the man. 

Never let this happen to you. If you love a man go after him.

How to chase after him

The simplest approach is to show affection because actions speak louder than words. Show lots of caring. Send WhatsApp messages just to say ‘hi’. Smile and create opportunities to be together because time together creates bonding.

 Ask him to do little things for you because men get emotional fulfilment in helping women.  

You can help him out with leading questions and statements such as “I have been thinking of you, how do you feel about me and how is our friendship going? 

With little acts of care and attention, you can get him to do the talking without knowing it was your idea in the first place. Then you can afford to ‘stretch him small’. Run from him but just fast enough to be caught.

This is 21st century. You deserve true love. Believe you can get whom you want. If you find a guy you want, chase after him. Go where your heart leads you to get what you want and not one who wants you. Take the bull by its horns before it slips through your hands to others who may be ‘wild’ for him.

 It is better to try and lose than to spend the rest of your life in regret. Never let go one who may potentially be the most precious gift of your life. If you find a guy you love, go after him.

 A former First Lady of the US did it and won. In the Good Book, Ruth did it and won. You too can do it and fly away with your lover.

Email jydboakye01@gmail.com. 

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