Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips
Wooing her the ‘right way’ (Part II)
Last week, we started this article and we bring you the part two of it this week.
The chemistry is there, you can tell. Then you ask her out on a date and keep it simple and friendly, for the time being. If the date goes well, with each passing minute you want to tell her that you love her and ask her to be your girlfriend. Sadly, most men meet their waterloo in the form of a capital “No” or “I am not sure” if they let impulse rule their head at this stage.
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Try to get to know her first. Both of you know something is brewing, and that makes you want to go straight to the matter. No!!!! Don’t do it yet - grind it out for a while.
Buy her gifts (simple things at this stage) if you can, and don’t call like a lonely guy whose life is drab and uninteresting. Give her the impression that your life is fun and exciting. Spend time with your friends too, and make her realise you have other friends (there is more to your life and social circle). Don’t be in a hurry to introduce her to your friends and family. It may scare her off if she is not sure yet. Bid your time. The idea is to drag both of you to a point where you are both dying to say – “I love you. I want you. I need you in my life.” Asking her too soon drastically narrows the chances of hearing those phrases. It might even mean the end of the relationship before it starts.
Don’t tell her the entire story of your life and family too soon: Some guys have the need to impress girls by talking about themselves. “I did this. I have this. I have that. I am this or that.” Those can only devalue your worth because a brilliant girl knows they can only spring from a deep inner well of inadequacy. When you have to sing your own praises and verbally brandish your material accomplishments, even the blind can tell that you have very little to offer intellectually and socially.
If you can engage a girl and capture her whole imagination and attention, you have no need to talk about yourself, because you can discuss many other spheres of life and society than yourself.
By the way, how would you feel if a girl said things like; “I own this; I have this; I won that?” Charm her with your intellect and not your personal glories. Brandishing your biography with her may even tell her that you are self-absorbed, and she may be right too. If you must show off, then show off your intellect and not your achievements and acquisitions.
Yes, we know some girls are crazy about money and all that go with it, but the fact that she is with you for what you have does not mean that she loves and adores you deeply. Sincerely, it’s better to be loved and adored beyond measure from deep within by your wife (no matter what you have or do not have), than to be managed, endured and tolerated for what you have.
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Make her laugh: Most men fail to appreciate how simply making a girl laugh can significantly harness their chances of hitting it off with her. The truth is, almost every girl would tell you the same thing. They are captivated by your ability to make them laugh. Research has proved this too. It brings her closer to you emotionally. It builds some kind of connection between the two of you when she laughs with you.
It makes her relaxed around you; makes her trust you more and feel at home in your presence. Often, after a guy has taken time to woo a girl, most girls have melted into the guy’s hands in a spell of laughter leading to those magical words; “You know I really love you. I feel at home with you.” That means, job well done!