Family systems under threat; Counsellor warns
A marriage counsellor and relationship expert, Dr John Boakye, has advised society to go back to the basics and focus on rebuilding and reuniting family systems in order not to lose them.
According to him, due to some actions and inaction of members of the family, society was almost losing the extended family system which could lead to serious consequences.
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Dr Boakye in an interview in Accra said there was the need to address all the challenges facing the extended family system in order that it would not go extinct.
“It is important to let people know that the family system, especially extended, must be kept strong for its survival. The family is the army of society, so if we break it, we are doomed”.
“We must talk more about the importance of the family, make conscious efforts to settle disputes and disagreements and reunite members,” he said.
He was sharing his views ahead of this year’s celebration of the International Day of Families with The Mirror.
The day has been celebrated on May 15 every year since 1994.
The global function is usually organised by the Department of Economic and Social Affairs Family of the United Nations.
This year, due to the restrictions imposed by the coronavirus, the day will be marked online.
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The 2021 observance of the day focuses on the impact of new technologies on the well-being of families.
In Ghana, an event to commemorate the day was held by the Department of Social Welfare in Accra yesterday (Friday, May 15).
Reuniting and rebuilding
Dr Boakye said some of the ways to rebuild the family was for leaders of families to develop a good communication system to enable members to have good rapport among themselves.
He stated that there were times some members could offend one another, but due to lack of a proper communication system, they could be at loggerheads and decide to stay away from extended family gatherings which would gradually disintegrate the family with time.
“We must often have deliberate family reunions, bring together every member and try to resolve every challenge that each member may be facing. We must be there for one another.
“We must also uphold our heritage by consciously teaching our children their native language, how to eat their local dishes, dressing, and the need to show respect to one another,” he told The Mirror.
“Today, when you go to a lot of homes, people no longer speak their native language with their children. How do you expect the children to respect their culture when they grow?” he asked.
Even though he admitted that issues about demographics had relocated some members of families far away from their natural families, he believed if the right measures were put in place, members could still come together always anytime there was a call.
He stated that poverty was another issue bedevilling the current family system, emphasising that statistics had indicated that about 50 per cent of Ghanaian adults were poor, making it difficult to reach others to help, “but with unity, those who are well-to-do can assist those within such families. This was common some years ago”.
Challenges of Wills
Dr Boakye also raised concerns about husbands who usually prepared their Will and neglected extended family members’ role or share, noting that they needed to have a part of such property.
“The problem now is inheritance, where couples, especially the man wills all his assets to his wife and children, leaving the extended family, and that is leading to a lot of challenges and causing fragmentation of the extended family system.
“As an individual, you can’t become successful overnight — your family members assisted you along the line. So it is inappropriate to make a will and neglect the extended family members. This has led to quarrels and disagreements among many families some of whom vow never to relate well with the family of the deceased,” he stated.
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Importance of family
The counsellor defined family as the basic unit of two or more people who are related by blood and share emotional ties.
He said the family gave emotional, physical and psychosocial care or protection to its members.
“The family is a sanctuary of love — a place where life is nurtured and protected. It is the family that we learn the natural things, the values of life,” he said.