Father, are you worth being celebrated?
On June 15, the world will be celebrating another Father’s Day. As the name suggests, it is a day set aside to honour fathers and fatherhood. It is also a day to remember fathers who have died and also to celebrate men who have provided paternal roles in the society.
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Father’s Day started in the USA at the beginning of the 20th century. After listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909, Sonora Dodd, from Washington, wondered if fathers could not be similarly celebrated. Her mum had died during childbirth, and it was her father who single-handedly brought the baby and the rest of her siblings up.
Sonora, with the support of the Young Christian Men’s Fellowship (YMCA) and other bodies, started a campaign to have the day celebrated. Having gone through several evolutionary processes, the day was made a national holiday in America in 1972.
Though it is not a public holiday in Ghana, falling on a Sunday means that many fathers will not be at work and will therefore have the opportunity to spend some quality time with their families.
In Ghana, as in other countries, commercialism seems to be taking over the day instead of fathers using it to do an honest self-inflection on their relationship with their children and look at how to improve on it.
In terms of comparing the day with Mother’s Day, Father’s Day pales into insignificance and for very good reasons. In our part of the world, particularly, some fathers have simplified fatherhood to mean procreation and nothing more.
Fatherhood and procreation
But in all sincerity, is fatherhood measured by one’s ability to procreate so that on a father’s obituary notice would be words such as ‘children 25, grandchildren, 50’ rather than providing the needed support to ensure that the children become useful to themselves and the society. Don’t dogs, pigs etc all procreate?
Whereas in other jurisdictions, issues of child neglect and abuse are sure ways to land one in jail, that does not seem to be the case here. There is even a popular saying that a child will always make the effort to look for the father when he grows. And this has been a recipe for some fathers to go to sleep!
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One has to read the profile of the likes of Ataa Ayi, the notorious armed robber, to realise how paternal neglect and the lack of effective institutions to fill the void created by such irresponsible fathers, transform otherwise normal citizens into monsters.
Many fathers work their socks off daily to provide the physical and other needs of their families. Yet, there are also quite a significant number who do not know and care about where their families are and how they are faring.
Affection
Hiding under the cloak of poverty does not wash because apart from providing the material support, showing affection equally counts. We should not forget that children will not appreciate it either if we show love to them but do not extend same to their mothers. Our time was the spare the rod and spoil the child era when the cane ruled. But things have changed and that is no longer acceptable.
When I was growing up, I used to have friends whose fathers had been given all the nicknames one could think of. I remember visiting a friend and terror engulfed the entire family when the father honked on arriving from work. Somebody shouted “Abandon ship!” and they all dashed to their rooms and left him an empty house. If your children have nicknamed you Idi Amin, Gada or Saddam, then the sort of father figure you portray is not the best.
Letting other members of the family have access to the remote control, the fridge and other gadgets does not make one less a father.
Moving forward, I think there is the need to intensify education on responsible fatherhood. These days, a lot of literature abounds to help those who wish to improve on their parenting techniques. The mass media, especially the use of drama in the local dialects, could help. Churches and other religious bodies should also take up the role of educating fathers on the need to be responsible by showing affection to their children and providing their needs.
June 15 is just around the corner and as has become the tradition, fathers will be celebrated. The big question is :Dear father, will you be celebrated?
The writer is Head of Public Relations and Protocol, University of Cape Coast and a retired Senior Military officer.
Writer’s email: kofikofi1977@hotmail.com