Focus on marriage not lavish wedding — Counsellor tells young couples

Gradually, weddings are turning into social events where people show off their wealth.

Thanks to social media, recent additions such as pre-wedding photo shoots, video wedding invitations, usually shot in  gardens or the beach, and bachelorette parties have become “must do” activities for prospective couples.

These events that precede the main wedding do not come cheap.  They require hiring of  photo/videographers to capture the moments, matching attires for the couple and in some instances, matching attires for the to-be bride and her friends for the bachelorette party.

Dr John Boakye, a relationship expert, told The Mirror he was alarmed at the rate at which young people were spending hard-earned money and in some cases, borrowing huge sums of money on weddings which are primarily meant to exchange vows and seek God’s blessings.

He said the focus should be on the marriage and the love that binds the couple together rather than attempts to impress society with  lavish weddings for people to come, wine and dine only for the couple to be chased by debtors few months into their marriage.

“There are people from well-to-do families who have relatives ready to spend huge sums on weddings without the couple themselves incurring any debts. The problem, however, is with young people who try to show off despite their low financial status.

“Big weddings do not necessarily lead to successful marriages. Once the couple love, respect and understand each other and have the consent of both families, that’s it. 

“The gorgeous gown, expensive ring, lavish reception and crowd are not necessary. The most important thing is to register the marriage at an appropriate institution,” he explained.

Décor, food, posh vehicles, bridal party and sharing of wedding favours, he said, did not add anything to the ceremony as a couple only needed two witnesses from both sides to register a marriage.

He said in the past, at traditional marriages, the bride shared items such as matches and salt as symbols of the union so the practice now where some new couples spend a lot on items shared at weddings and engagements was not necessary.

“There were no formal institutions that documented such unions  so the little items were shared to guests just to represent the union so if a man, for instance, denies ever marrying a woman, the witnesses at the wedding would just show the matches or handkerchiefs they received from the ceremony.

“These days, things have changed.  The ceremonies can be filmed and most importantly registered, so there’s absolutely no need spending so much on gift items,” he explained.

Luxury weddings

Though most of the wedding planners this reporter spoke to were reluctant to mention the actual figures that go into such high-end weddings, a search in some of the top hotels in Accra indicated that renting a large hall to host the event alone could cost as much as $6,000.

This excludes décor, seats and buffet befitting such events could also add upto over $15,000 depending on the number of guests.

For a luxury wedding, the cake, invitation cards, programmes and wedding favours must be classy and unique.

Awo Frimpong of Colours Bureau,a printing company that also designs  hand-made wedding invitation cards said a luxury card could be as much as  GH¢ 80 for one depending on the demand of the client.

Business booms for wedding vendors

A few years ago, the Joy FM Bridal Fair was the only event that exhibited wedding items for would-be brides. 

These days, however, there are several wedding shows with different vendors providing different services. 

These vendors include caterers, decor experts, photographers, bridal salons, wedding planners, jewellers, vehicle rental services and wedding stationery vendors.

At these shows, the vendors exhibit their products and services to would-be couples.

No luxury weddings here

To discourage young couples from spending too much on weddings, the head pastor of the Christ Apostolic Church Family Worship Centre at Sakumono, Rev. Osei Yaw Dankwa, told The Mirror that the church had a policy which discouraged couples from having luxury weddings.

“We have realised the current trend is preventing couples ready to marry from taking the step. The church is a place where everyone must feel welcomed so we advise every would-be couple to stay within a reasonable limit,” he stated.

Rev. Dankwa said the move was also to help young couples save money for their future instead of spending on lavish weddings.

“We have a beautiful auditorium which can be used with little or no decoration and ample space outside the church for a brief cocktail reception after the ceremony. We discourage our members from renting places and hiring chairs for receptions.

“With décor, the couple only have to pay a token to the Women’s Ministry who are responsible for the set-up so there’s no need to spend much on décor.”

Finances after marriage 

Dr Boakye said throughout his years as a marriage counsellor, he had observed that financial difficulties were among the leading causes of divorce.

He said in most cases, the couple did not plan well so they got frustrated when reality began to set in.

His advice to young couples was that instead of spending money on the wedding, they should save the money for their children and other unforeseen circumstances.

“The same people who would come and eat and drink at your wedding would mock you when the marriage hits the rocks,” he stated.