Sodzi Sodzi-Tettey: I Wish I Lived Outside Africa - Gay man confesses
“There is one thing I want everyone to know. We are all human beings. People talk about human rights. Unless someone is able to tell me that gays have horns, or they don’t have skins, or if we are cut, no blood will flow, until someone is able to prove that we are not human beings, they don’t have to judge anyone and they should watch their words.”
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– Marcus, a 34-year-old Ghanaian who is gay lives and works in Accra as a professional chef. As a teenager, he had always felt a certain attraction towards other males. At the age of 16, he was introduced to a younger boy –Larry— during his Basic Education Certificate Examination.
The friend who did the introduction was not gay. Neither did he know whether Marcus was gay or not. He only introduced the two because he found them to have similar feminine mannerisms, saying to Marcus, “His is stronger than yours.” Larry subsequently spoke confidently of men having sex with men and right away introduced Marcus to three other gay people in Marcus’s own community whom he had previously not known about.
Welcome to the Ghanaian gay scene; a tight and highly networked community of private individuals and public figures, of average and well-resourced individuals, of pastors and choristers, of single and married men and of true lovers and prostitutes.
The life is fast, money is loose, camouflage through bisexual relationships is strategic, stigma is piercing and loyalty is constantly under test in relationships. Some are in for the money and others in search of true love. Breakups happen – sometimes due to infidelity, misunderstandings or simply from family pressure on one partner to marry.
Stigmatisation
Of all these, it is the knife of stigma that appears to cut deepest. In Marcus’s experience, this arises mainly because the country portrays itself as being very religious. Even so, he is at a loss as to why some should foist their religious beliefs on him or any of his friends.
Believing he is liable for his own actions and God’s judgment, just like everyone else, he called for an end to all finger pointing, stressing that if we really knew the sexual orientation of even the critics and all their families, we might be shocked to find gays among them.
“Sodom and Gomorrah wasn’t just about homosexuals. There were also thieves, armed robbers and also adulterers. Why do they focus on gay people alone? Have they forgotten about the robbers and the adulterers? We always turn the bible to favour us!” he lamented.
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Sounding very frustrated, he questioned why many people who got to know the sexual preferences of gay people did not take them seriously on many levels or why people simply refused to distinguish between public conduct and private lives. Within this context, relocating outside Africa was his most feasible option, saying, “I wish I was in a different country outside Africa. Anywhere outside will be better for me. I will be free to do what I want to do.”
Health concerns
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV are common health problems, but as a peer counsellor of gay boys and men, he strictly advocates and practices condom use. Through the support of a few non-governmental organisations — local and foreign – peer counselling services, lubricants and condoms are freely supplied, in addition to providing access to specified doctors to treat them in cases of ill health. These services are all paid for upfront.
So what does Marcus make of the Dr Ali Gabass case and his 25 years incarceration for sodomising a 16-year-old boy? “This was no rape. The boy initiated a conversation with the doctor. Why didn’t he report it the first time? This was simply a relationship they were having.There are even people who are younger than the boy involved in relationships with men who are much older. Some of us simply see this boy as being ill advised to just engage in blackmailing.”
“But the law does take a categorical view of sodomy and at a certain age, does not make it possible for the minor to opt to be in that kind of relationship”, I pointed out. Well, the fact that the law says so does not mean that is what happened, he countered! Marcus then blamed the Ghanaian society for possibly pressuring the doctor to marry, instead of giving him the freedom and respect to accept his sexual identity in the first place.
Will Ghana ever follow the United States in legalising gay marriages?
“As for Ghana, it will never happen! Pastors, even fetish priests will go against it. We know, but at least, we are still here,” Marcus seemed to have accepted.
Sodzi Sodzi-Tettey
Sodzi_tettey@hotmail.com
www.sodzisodzi.com