3 Life lessons my mother’s life has taught me

Mother’s Day brings back memories of one’s childhood ─ memories of helping their mother in the kitchen, being cuddled in her embrace, etc. For those who lost their mother along life’s journey, however, this day evokes unfortunate memories they have been trying to get over.

A good mother makes life easy. We run into their embrace when life’s troubles are at our heels. We hide with them secrets we want to hide from our fathers. It is always a great blessing to have a mother who lays down her life for her children indeed! 

Whenever there is a conversation on exemplary motherhood, my mother, Mrs Faustina Donkor-Ansah, comes to mind. Privileged to still have her alive and kicking, she was actively present all through our days of growing up. I remember all the painful knocks she planted on our heads when we repeatedly went wrong. And oh! How could I forget the big hug she gave us when we did the right thing!

On celebrating this great day for mothers all over the world, I cast my mind back to the days I used to observe our mother do what she usually woke up to do. We saw her each day, together with our father, striving for a better life for us. Let me share with you three life lessons that stood out in my observations;

Life gives you what you demand for, not what you deserve!

I grew up seeing my mother juggle between a lot of jobs. On some days, she was a lotto receiver with the National Lotteries Authority. On other days, she was a yam seller at Kokomba market at Agbogbloshie in Accra. Sometimes, she hawked her yam in our neighbourhood. One job was never enough for her because she had to supplement whatever our father brought to the table.

I observed in her a woman who was an embodiment of grit and dedication. She was endowed with little education, hence, had to maximise the few privileges that came her way. To her, life was supposed to be lived according to the prevailing situations. If needs had to be met, one had to go every length to do so… as long as the work of their hands was legal. Even though one deserved a comfortable life, one could only attain such if they were willing to demand for it. With demand comes the sacrifice.

Over the years, I have seen such come to play in my adult life. Life is not a fairy tale to get what one deserves at the snap of a finger. What we deserve will not be handed over to us on a silver platter. It will take a lot of sacrifice to have such.   

You cannot help everybody, but help somebody!

We grew up with a lot of our cousins and distant relatives living with us because of our mother. Being the first of her siblings to successfully migrate to Accra, our home was the abode for most of their children when they had to also migrate to the capital city. She did not have enough to financially support all of them in all their endeavours but however she could, she lent a helping hand whenever possible.

Ingratitude could not stand in her way of doing well. Even when some of her nephews and nieces turned their backs on her, it did not inhibit her from helping others who needed help she could give. Today, many of them look back with tons of gratitude to her.

In this life, it will be impossible to help every single person who comes knocking at our doors. However, at all cost, we should be intentional about extending a helping hand to those we can. If we all help somebody, at least, everybody will be helped eventually.

Kindness is a baton we should not fail to pass on to others. We are all where we are today courtesy someone else’s kindness. If others went out of their convenience to help us, we should also be intentional about doing same for others.

Parenthood is giving your children privileges you never had!

Our mother was born in a world where it was a great privilege to go to school as a woman. She had just a little of it. At least, she was educated up to the primary school level. Guess what. Among all her siblings, she was the most educated.

Despite not being educated enough, she was ready to do everything within her power to see us through the highest level of education. As a matter of fact, her lack of education was her motivation for pushing us to climb the education ladder to the farthest. She believed that we could, at least, do more with our lives if we had enough education.

This has always been a great lesson to me, especially, as a parent today. The motivation to work harder and earn more is to ensure that we build the capacity of our children today to take on the world tomorrow. The end goal is not to buy material things but to invest in our children so they can slay the giants that slayed us. Indeed, posterity reaps from children in whom parents have invested. 

All mothers who have lent their shoulders to their children to climb deserve a lot of commendation on a beautiful occasion such as Mother’s Day. Mothers are like salt. Their absence in our lives is always very conspicuous. But for good mothers, many of us would have gone astray.

To all potential mothers, may you enjoy motherhood. To all single mothers out there shouldering all the responsibilities of their children, cheers on this day. Above all, to all women out there who never had biological children but invested their all into other people’s children, may your hearts be filled with warmth and peace. You are the reason this world has become a better place.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Kobina Ansah is a Ghanaian playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), an Accra-based writing firm. Order for copies of his animation book, Animuonyam The Bully Stopper, via 0243752793.