Balancing work, marriage

Work and marriage are both important features of humanity. Both are as old as man and almost all adults are involved in the two at the same time.

However, handling the two is always difficult because you are likely to put greater emphasis on one at the neglect of the other.

Most women see marriage as more important than work. Enjoying a happy marriage gives her great emotional fulfilment and security. Therefore, some will easily give up their jobs to focus on marriage. On the other hand, most men see work as more important than marriage.

For most a man, working hard to provide for his family is the best way to express his competence, efficiency and love. Research has shown that work and marriage are mutually influenced in both beneficial and harmful ways.

 What happens at home both positive and negative spills over into marriages and vice versa.  What determines your failure or success in life is the balance you give to the two.

What to do at work

Be happy with your work. In order for you to be happy in your work, you must be fit for it and have a sense of success in it. God has given everybody the ability and talent to work. Don’t neglect your talent. Know yourself and appreciate what you have.  Your job must therefore be consistent with your natural talents and abilities so that you can do what you are good at otherwise you feel out of place, insignificant and mentally stressed.

People who do what they enjoy are more likely to succeed. Studies show that doing what comes to you naturally helps to maintain your health.

Know your interests. Know what you can do best and develop your talent. Do what makes you feel good about yourself.

If you find your job too stressful, it may not be the place for you.  This may put your happiness and your marriage at risk. If you are not happy with your work or progress, find out the sources of your unhappiness and improve upon them.

 You may have to improve upon your skills and seek better options or seek professional help. Do what you can do best and reward yourself for what you can do.

Have a sound management system

 Write down your objectives and visualise your success. You must however set realistic goals otherwise you will create enormous pressure to measure up to your own unrealistic standard.

Have a clear sense of what you want to do: Time is a great asset. Make time to create wealth. Plan ahead of time by breaking down your work into simpler elements. Pace yourself for maximum efficiency. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Avoid unnecessary distractions such as unnecessary phone calls and socialisation. Measure your progress and celebrate your successes.

Take good care of yourself: No matter how strong you are, there is a limit to what you can do in a day. Stress happens when your body has too much demand on it physically, emotionally or intellectually.

Failure to cope with stress hinders your body’s natural abilities to fight off diseases. Job stress may therefore cause diseases such as heart attack, stroke, headache, sleep disorders, anxiety and sexual problems. It is one of the common conflicts in marriage.

 Don’t share personal marital issues with co-workers. They may expose you and limit your progression at work. Some colleagues of the opposite sex may think you are unhappy in your marriage and take undue advantage of you.

Leave your family problems at home. Be kind and encouraging to your colleagues. Take interest in them. Keep an open mind. Be cheerful and let everyone in your workplace know you are married and happy

Avoid workplace affairs:  Almost half of all workers get emotionally involved at their workplace. In fact, the majority of spouses who get into illicit affairs admit having done so with somebody they had met at work. Office romance has a negative effect on work and marriage. It may also affect your colleagues and the discipline of the workplace. If a boss is involved, he may give privileges and promotion to a lover. Workers feeling cheated may deliberately cause financial loss to the establishment or inappropriately disclose company’s secrets.

Gossips and ridicule may threaten your career: You will incur financial loss of having to support a lover. The odds are never good for office romance because it can damage your profession and reputation.

What to do at home

Unwind when you get home: Greet each other with a tender touch to release biochemicals in you and your partner to make both of you feel better. Take a glass of water and relax for at least 15 minutes without discussing anything serious. You may talk about how the day went or current events.

A woman must understand her man’s need for space. She must postpone her needs and allow the man to relax and shift gears from work to home. This creates a good environment for him to love her.

If a man comes home to a woman who is nagging or demanding, he continues to pull away and may spend long hours away from home.

  Set quality time aside for your marriage and share activities you both enjoy.  Focus your attention away from work. Watch TV and films together.  It is healthy to share at least, a meal a day together.

 This gives warm communication and family bonds as you share thoughts, plans, fun and work experiences. You can spend time away from home and celebrate your marriage as you talk freely about your marriage.

Set goals together and make mutual decisions

 Romance your marriage:  It is also important you pray together.  Couples with personal faith express greater happiness and higher self-esteem.  They show greater care for each other.

 Be best friends who meet each other’s emotional needs and give each other support, companionship and unconditional love.  Mental and physical health hazards such as stress and high blood pressure.

The more flexibility and control you have in your work, the better you balance work and marriage.