How are we raising our boys?

A colleague at work told me of how his son in the university begged him to find him a different hostel, because his roommates were so dirty that he could not cope. The son said his roommates would use the toilet and not flush it, eat and put the plates under their beds and not wash their beddings.

Obviously not amused, my colleague concluded that it was the future wives of those boys who would suffer, because they could not pick up after themselves and would be a burden to them.

For some reason, people have been socialised to think boys do not have to learn to do any chores at home and take good care of themselves. The usual saying has been: boys will be boys.

The Founding Director of Junior Shapers Africa (JSA), Mrs Ethel Marfo, says “we have to start raising our boys right. It will do parents and society at large a whole lot of good when we nurture the social, emotional and physical development of our boys.”

She notes that forms of abuse often directed against women, such as, rape, defilement, sexual violence, among others, are mostly perpetrated by men and that will drastically reduce in society when we have men who have been raised right.
Having been raised right, boys will grow up responsible and respecting women.

Male development

Since 2015, JSA has been championing male child personal development through the provision of grooming, mentorship and counselling opportunities for young males in Africa to become confident, responsible and supportive partners by exposing them to values, life skills and nurturing careers.

Boys are inspired to make a difference in the lives of rural girls, children and youth, in fulfilment of United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) 4, 5, 8 and 10.
In line with the UN SDGs Decade of Action from this year through to 2030, it has become important to address the concerns and vulnerabilities of boys, as a way of accelerating male involvement in the global push for SDG 5: Gender Equality.

Therefore, Mrs Marfo says there is the need to create awareness and raise gender sensitive men now to eliminate the current gender stereotypes in society that impedes gender equality.

“Men ought not to be left out in the fulfilment of gender equality and the time to start is now by involving the future generation to create the right balance in the attainment of this goal,” she says.

Role models

Furthermore, child development experts advise that boys need good male role models who will basically show them the softer side of masculinity and keep them away from watching violent things as a way of entertainment.

They also recommend that parents or guardians should help their sons find their spark, something they adore – for instance art, music, drama or sport because it is important that they develop an interest in something and be encouraged.

More importantly, experts say, do not ever tell your boys not to cry or they will express their emotions through violence. There is nothing like a good cry.

As a parent, do you encourage or teach your boys how to perform simple house chores such as cooking, cleaning and ironing? Boys will be what they are taught so if you teach them the right things, they will not ‘depart from it’.

Raising boys right will inspire boys to become responsible men and fathers worth emulating, discover their purpose and enable them to improve their general wellbeing to achieve their full potential.

Writer’s E-mail: rebecca.kwei@graphic.com.gh