Quintessential matriarch gone: Mrs Victoria Akweley Addy

 Mummy’s tribute has taken some time to write. Too long in fact. Words escape me. No inspiration whatsoever.

A sense of numbness has descended. My tears flow unbidden, competing with all my happy memories. Playing some of Mummy’s hymns helps –but little, bidding me to hold fast to our sweet reveries of yesteryears – in tenuous solace!

If “mother-in-law” was created to reflect the close mother-son relationship, then Mummy was the reason. Even so, I was Mummy’s friend years before I became her son. Back then, she bought me a beautiful African shirt. Unsure of my size, she told the vendor, “My son is of good size.” Years later, whenever Adorkor caused a marital infraction, even one unrelated to physique, I would promptly remind her, “Remember, Mummy says I am of good size!”

Thanks to God’s everlasting mercies, we were blessed with and thankful for over a decade-long relationship of love, shared learning experiences, many happy family events, passionate discourse on national political developments and sadly, ill health.

Overall, I can only recall that you were truly beautiful – inside and outside - you dressed fashionably always, always remained in great physical shape, exercising regularly as a lifestyle, showed commitment and industry in all your family, professional and political duties! At one point, at great risk of being disgraced in exercise tolerance by a pair of physically fitter elderly twins, I immediately resolved to amend my ways. Of course, my resolutions faced great resistance in that you also made the absolute best sandwiches ever! On this, I shall return later.

Very early on, you taught me through practical examples that one’s educational and professional status ought not be a barrier to social impact through hard work and humble constructive engagement across all levels of society. In fact, as your own life showed so clearly, the whole point of blessed and privileged circumstances was so that we could lift others up. Be it through preparation of kpokpoi for the annual Homowo celebration, paying endless school fees, finding jobs for young family members, or young men and women having a guiding symbol in order to make something of ourselves in life, you eternally remained our inspirational matriarch.

But your culinary skills certainly extended beyond world-class sandwiches. Your black pepper or shito, my great love for which you did not miss, was regularly bottled for me to pick up. Confronted with gastronomic limitations, some cry in the transient absence of their wives. In my case, I blossomed—your sumptuous jollof my fortress! Dripping with green envy, my brother –Kemetse— then unmarried, once remarked, “What is this? Are you the only one with a mother-in-law? She is spoiling you. Come on! Open that bowl of jollof I am smelling and let me also enjoy!”

It is not a secret that Mummy served on many state governing boards, the party’s Council of Elders and on the Council of State (1996-2000, 2008-2012). In these capacities, Mummy over time also established herself as a political activist on the social democratic front. In this regard, she also became one of my political mentors or godmothers in addition to two other godmothers.

 She prosecuted her political activism with dignity, integrity, forthrightness and always with an eye on the end objectives of the political process –improving the lives of regular people. We held many political discussions in the kitchen and through them all, one could not help but admire her principled position irrespective of the personalities involved, her truthfulness, her commitment, her courage, her vim.

Mummy practically despised lazy or corrupt politicians and public officers who respectively demonstrated no visionary agenda or showed no appreciation for their own roles in ameliorating the national challenges they frequently lamented. She often questioned the basis for various decisions and took nothing at face value.

As far as I can recall, she remained a strong advocate for fair and just conditions of service for all health workers in particular and civil servants generally. She championed strong institutions and systems that were not entirely driven by personalities. Even so, she showed great appreciation for politicians and public servants who through all challenges and resource limitations, demonstrated concrete achievements worth pointing to.

She would sometimes burst out, Esani atsu nii odjogbaa! Ame nshe nutsumo gbeye! Ame ntao shika. Wo baa ha ni ametsu ni, to wit, “Leaders have to learn to work hard. Some fear hard work. Others think they are here to make money. We will ensure that people really apply themselves!

My key takeaways from our decade-long discourse on national political issues will forever remain – principle, truth, accountability, incorruptibility, integrity, hard work, courage, all underpinned by a strong unwavering sense of nationalism!

There are those who say that if you love a thing too much, the gods take it away from you. I suspect this is what has happened to us. Perhaps we were too blessed, our lives too happy to be true. Others believe that if you love something, let it go, and it comes back to you, then it is yours forever. If so, then we are simply letting you go, knowing we shall meet again as our faith in Christ teaches us. Then, you will be ours forever!

Through all these changing scenes of life, we are comforted through Christ that the praises of our God shall still our hearts and tongues employ.