If you are a father, never repeat these 4 mistakes

Fathers are pillars. A family rests on their shoulders. With their hands, they mould the future of their spouse and children. A father’s presence binds a family together.

Like a wall, it surrounds a home. No home is ever the same in the absence of a father. For every home that is built, a father is its foundation. 

Fatherhood is a responsibility. It is a duty to raise responsible children for society. Many children go astray in the absence of their fathers.  

  Some great fathers have laid down their lives to make their children who they are today. However, there are equally bad ones whose children’s potential could never be a reality because of their intentional absence. With their hands, they have successfully moulded children who would always be bitter at the mention of fathers.  

Not every Father’s Day brings as much excitement because it reminds many of the uncomfortable situations their fathers put them through. It brings back bad memories of the good father they never had.  

Unfortunately, many fathers today keep repeating the same errors their fathers made. Like a vicious cycle, their sons will repeat these errors.

They would treat everyone around them tomorrow as they are being treated today. Every father ought to be today what he expects his children to be tomorrow.    

Every young man today has one big challenge. It is a challenge to change the bad narrative about fathers. If you are a young man today, the onus lies on you not to repeat the mistakes of your fathers. If you had a bad father, break the vicious cycle by being a good one.

The mistake of absenteeism! 

A father is supposed to be the head of every family. His absence creates a vacuum no one can fill, not even a mother. A father’s presence in a home makes the family unit whole. He is the spiritual head. He leads his family in every battle it faces.  

Every child needs a father’s presence more than his presents. As fathers, we need to be intentional parents. We do not only need to pay rent! 

Absentee fathers belong to the past. Gone are the days when a father had no idea of his children’s birthdays. Fathers who never show up in their children's lives no longer exist.

If you are one, you are on earth alone. Today, every father is tidying up their children. Today’s father constantly shows up at his children’s school. He prioritises their welfare above even his life. 

Be an intentional father. Be the father whose only desire is to see his children live their destiny to the maximum. The day life comes, with irresponsible fathers, you should be nowhere near the queue.

The mistake of womanising! 

Having multiple sexual partners comes with a lot of headaches. Womanising is one hell of a pleasure that hurls undue pressure at everyone around you.

Our spouses have their share as much as our children. Everyone bears the brunt of your wanton pleasure. 

A womaniser eventually makes more children than he can take care of. He spends his money where he would have saved if he had zipped up.

At the end of the day, he doesn’t only make extra families but also extra troubles too because everyone would want to have a bite of his properties. Poverty is the next-door neighbour of every man whose weakness is a woman! 

Cheating is the root of most family troubles. Most men could not be the great fathers they dreamt of being because they followed their lust wherever it led them. Before they knew, they had to bring on a second wife. And then, a third. And then, a fourth. 

Beautiful women will continue to be born. This is why every young man must know that they will definitely come across women who may appear to be more befitting wives than those they married. However, they need to stick to the vow they made at the altar.  

If you were a victim of your father’s sexual escapades, don’t make your spouse and children victims, too. A father is supposed to be the moral head of the family. He has to do the right things; he expects his children to do!   

The mistake of disliking your children because of their gender! 

As a young man, you ought to know that children are God-given. Hence, whether He gives you girls or boys, you love them the same. If no one has the power to determine what kind of sex of a child they want, no one has the power to dislike another because of their sex. 

It is great to have expectations of giving birth to boys. It is awesome to have dreams of giving birth to a girl someday.

However, if these expectations don’t come to pass, love what you have. Treat them with utmost care. Parents are stewards of their children. 

Many fathers have abandoned their children because they were not what they expected.

Others have treated such children with disdain. It is an error to treat another as less human because you expected a different gender.

If God gives you a boy when you prayed for a girl, thank Him and raise that child to His glory. If he gives you a girl in place of a boy, accept your fate and treat her like a queen.   

The mistake of abusing your spouse and children! 

Growing up in a patriarchal society like ours, some men think of themselves as gods in the home. They want to have their way all the time.

Everything should be skewed in their favour. They soon become fearsome monsters who are feared not only by their spouses but also by their children. 

When a home is run like a military base, abuse is inevitable. The children and spouse of the man become his yes men.

They nod to every order and succumb to every command of his. In such situations, he mistakes fear for respect.

Unfortunately, the children fear him but have no iota of respect for him. When they soon become independent, their lack of respect becomes evident. 

A man should not abuse his spouse or children under any circumstances. If your father used to verbally abuse your mother in everyone’s presence, it doesn’t make it right.

If he used to physically abuse you all at the slightest provocation, don’t mistake it as a corrective measure. 

Abuse of any form should not be accepted in our homes. If your children fear you, know that it’s a recipe for disaster.

If your spouse is afraid to share with you everything just because of how you may react, know that they may not tell you of a pending danger even if they see one. 

If you are a man today, you have to be celebrated on Father's Day. It should not be out of necessity.

It should be because you deserve it. Happy Father’s Day!  

Kobina Ansah is the Chief Scribe of Scribe Productions (www.scribeproductions.com) and Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com).