Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

I accidentally gouged her in the eye with my soapy thumb.

My then-girlfriend had just gotten stitches in her arm. She wrapped it in a plastic bag, held it out of the shower, and I, like a nursing home attendant, clumsily washed her entire body.

Of all our shared showers, it was the least sexy. Yet it was one of the most intimate—and informative, too. For example, I learned to wash a woman’s hair and that it’s quite the production.

Nudity: It's not just for sex. Or showers. Here are three reasons to spend more time with your partner with your clothes off—without getting it on.

1. You'll Appreciate Your Partner's Body More

When we're naked in a casual setting, I find myself admiring my significant other's form in a way I wouldn't during sex, especially with the lights off. It's often subtle: The strength of her shoulder blades. The softness of her hands. The way her ribs peek coyly through her skin when she stretches her arms above her head. Desexualizing her body makes me appreciate it more.

It's refreshing to experience your partner's body as something beyond sexual, desensitizing the nudity for yourself when doing mundane things au naturel. Take a heated game of Banagrams, for example: I'm not thinking about her breasts when trying to verify whether the word "ef" is legal. (It is. Damnit.)

2. You'll Explore Other Kinds of Touch

I'm all for petting, licking, and spanking. Heck, those are like the three main food groups—and I'll go for seconds! But other forms of physical non-sexual contact can build a different and deeper connection. 

Practice less-common kinds of touch, whether tender or pragmatic or friendly. A foot massage. An extended cuddle session. A playful wrestling match—or not-so-playful, depending on how heated Banagrams gets. ("'Ef' you!")

When I was showering my girlfriend, I grew more empathetic toward her physical sensations. I gained a deeper understanding of how she experiences contact, as she told me what's too rough and what's too gentle, what's pleasurable and what's poking her eye out. It can be more difficult to share what feels less-than-great when you're in the middle of a quick-and-dirty romp. But in other situations, it's not as awkward.

3. You'll Have More Fun

There's nothing that breeds giddiness and giggles like getting your Adam-and-Eve on while drinking mimosas and jamming out to the Boogie Nightssoundtrack on a Sunday morning.

Something about nudity is inherently, well, silly. It's juvenile and liberating. It makes pedestrian activities, even chores like washing the dishes, more fun. And you'll want to do kid stuff, like that thing where one person lies on his back with his legs at a 90-degree angle and tries to balance the other on his feet. (When I was a kid, they called it "Superman." As an adult, they charge $25 and call it "acroyoga.")

While public sex is obscene and, I'm pretty sure, illegal, casual nudity at home strikes the perfect balance of naughty and benign. It's an exhilarating brand of diluted exhibitionism. I'll bet I'm not the only one who kind of doesn't mind—or hopes?—the neighbors catch a glimpse of us jumping on the couch in (only) sunglasses.