Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips
Is your man delaying marriage?
Marriage is extremely important in the life of a woman because it gives her great emotional fulfilment, security and social recognition.
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She sees marriage as the focus of life. Most women, therefore, yearn to marry as soon as possible.
However, marriage does not come easy for some women because when everything appears ripe for marriage, her man keeps her in suspense for no apparent reason.
This delay partly accounts for the increasing trend of single women in Ghana
Imagine a 30-year-old, highly educated woman in a big position. She has everything a woman would dream of but after six years in a relationship, her boyfriend who is also in ‘bread’ keeps quiet about marriage.
She has offered to pay all expenses for the marriage rites and requirements but the man is still silent about marriage. She is deeply troubled because she loves her man deeply and sticks to him but he appears not to care.
Why delay marriage
For a woman, her greatest emotional need is affection but for a man, his greatest emotional need is what he achieves in his profession.
Many young men with high education or skill delay marriage to focus on developing their profession.
Marriage is the end of life goals but not the start.
Money is a big problem in Ghana. Cost of living is high and many can hardly make ends meet.
High cost of customary rites, wedding, accommodation and utilities scare many young men.
They set unrealistic goals and wait to acquire what they find necessary before thinking of marriage.
Many young men are unable to meet their targets in life. This affects their self-esteem.
This means sometimes, when a man delays marriage, the issue may have nothing to do with the woman but with the man himself. He has a poor mindset about himself.
Some men delay marriage due to selfishness. They want to enjoy single life as long as possible so that they can make their own rules and do whatever they want without consulting anyone.
There are some men who from day one in a relationship know they will not marry their lovers but with flattery and empty promises hold on to the relationship for convenience. Their women expect marriage when these men don’t.
There are also those who lose their passion in their relationship but lack the courage to say so. They keep quiet hoping their women will know the relationship is dead.
Some are genuinely confused. They see many warning signs and want time to smoothen the rough edges in the relationship. Some delay marriage to buy time to seek approval from parents who may object to their marriages.
The good of delay
Delaying your marriage gives you the chance to know more about yourself and your lover. It makes you more mature to handle your issues in marriage better. You have the chance to prepare financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
This explains why late marriages tend to be more stable than early marriages. Mature adults take marriages more seriously.
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The bad of delay
A delay in marriage deprives you of the rewards marriage offers; companionship, sharing, dependability, sexual partner and social status.
Studies show married partners are happier, healthier and wealthier than singles.
To be continued
Email. Jydboakye01@gmail.com. The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide to Marriage, Love Unlimited and The Journey of Life’
Mob 0208181861
