Men and menses: scaling the fences

My earliest encounter with menstruation as a young boy came while I was in primary school. A female classmate who was late to school was punished with two strokes of the cane on her backside.

Seconds later, she soiled herself with blood and quickly, she was whisked away from the pandemonium that had started. Our teachers came back to tell us she was alright and was being catered for. 

There was no mention of what had happened to her, only that she had changed schools. Months later, we heard she had her 'period' while she was being caned and felt ashamed coming back to school. That experience stayed with me and left me rather confused. 

For as long as we have known, men (both young and old) have always had a complicated understanding of menstruation, or what we term "women's period'. It is a narrative that is not only surprising but also outdated and must give way to a more progressive understanding of what this natural cycle is all about. We must change the narrative.

While considerable progress is being made to change the male perspective on women’s menstrual health and hygiene, there is a need to make a concerted effort to ensure this narrative is totally revamped. 

Men and menses

The result of the prevailing status quo is this: most women, especially young girls, are left to themselves with no support during their monthly period because the whole conversation of menstruation is shrouded in secrecy and, in most cases, between mother and daughter, without recourse to men.

On the other hand, I have encountered some young men who also feel that issues around menstruation or periods are private matters and that an attempt to discuss them in public or create awareness of them constitutes an invasion of privacy. We see this line of thought displayed in how males treat their female partners during their menstruation. This is as absurd as it can get; if for nothing else, it is imperative that men take a keen interest in the menstrual cycles of their partners. 

Taboo & myths

In our own local setting, the situation is no different. In a typical Akan traditional setting, conversations related to menstruation and menstrual hygiene are less spoken about in public. In most cases, euphemisms, which are often negative, have been employed to ‘cover up’ such conversations. 

In his seminal work, Menstruation as a Verbal Taboo among the Akan of Ghana, K. Agyekum (2002) notes that, "the use of euphemisms that portray the negative aspects of menstruation makes Akan women feel bad and suppressed and somewhat elevates the status of men. In contrast, the "positive" euphemisms reflect the role and value of women in society. 

In schools and some homes, conversations around menstruation are relegated to the 'backroom', between mother and daughter. 

The male members of the family are left out altogether because it is not considered an issue for men. In my case, although I had witnessed a schoolmate's uniform soiled with blood in primary school, I had no knowledge of what menstruation was until I was in senior secondary school. 

I recollect that during one of our reproductive health lessons in primary school, there was a brief mention of 'period' by my tutor, and that was it. Perhaps men show little interest in these matters because there is no deliberate attempt to carry them along in such situations.

In our schools, conversations on menstruation should go beyond surface tutoring to in-depth knowledge of menstruation. The curriculum must be expanded, redefined to reflect new trends and information on menstruation and menstrual hygiene management. Once we demystify it; we create an environment where everyone is comfortable discussing the matter, and that ensures girls are comfortable seeking help when they are in distress during this period.

To expand this conversation and increase awareness, the workplace must be employed as a medium to disseminate information on menstruation. Forums such as employee town hall meetings, seminars, webinars, and staff meetings can be strategically used for an open discussion on the matter. 

The home is the first point of socialisation for everyone of us; it is the most common and surest place where perceptions and opinions are created. The nuanced conversation around menstruation can also be traced to our homes; if the narrative should change, it must begin from there.

The church, mosque, or temple are sacred places; however, such a platform can be instrumental in helping society accept and destigmatise issues around menstruation and menstrual hygiene management. 

Commemorating World Menstrual Hygiene Day on May 28, show that the fences must come down just like new knowledge and interest brought down the Berlin Wall. We are not protecting the privacy of women. The fences are only abstract, an imagination in our minds, and with the right information and understanding, they will come crushing down.

AHOY is celebrating this year’s world Menstrual Hygiene Day by breaking the fences.

The writer is a Senior Manager, AHOY