3 perfect ways to make your partner feel truly loved — By a psychologist

When you think about romantic love, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s grand gestures, unbridled passion or that instant spark of attraction. But, a 2024 study published in the Journal of Psychology reveals that love is about so much more.

Researchers asked participants what their partners did that made them feel most loved, and their answers highlighted three powerful yet often overlooked behaviors.

Here are three ways to make your partner feel deeply loved, according to the study.

1. Be Responsive To Their Needs

One of the most significant ways people feel loved is when their needs are met with “positive responsiveness.” Research shows that when we perceive others as caring, validating and supportive, it enhances the quality of our relationships. This isn’t about fulfilling their every request, but about showing genuine care, affection and support. Researchers found that people feel most loved when their partners treat them positively through the three following avenues:

Showing affection. Affection can be shown in countless ways, from a warm hug to a loving text message. It’s not about grand romantic gestures but rather small, consistent acts that say, “I care about you.” This could be as simple as holding hands, giving a compliment or making eye contact during a conversation. Physical touch, verbal affirmations and even little surprises—like leaving a note or sending a thoughtful gift—can all be powerful ways to express love.

Providing support. Supporting your partner isn’t just about being there during tough times; it’s about actively contributing to their well-being. This can take the form of emotional support— respecting their autonomy, offering words of encouragement or being a shoulder to lean on. It can also mean providing tangible support, like helping with chores, running errands or giving advice when asked.

Enhancing their sense of worth. One of the most profound ways to make someone feel loved is by helping them see their own value. This goes beyond compliments—although those certainly help. It’s about consistently showing that you recognize and appreciate who they are. This can be done by prioritizing them, respecting their opinions and acknowledging their achievements, both big and small. These affirmations build their self-esteem and deepen the emotional bond you share. Participants reported acts like offering “constant reminders that I am beautiful inside and out,” and how their partner “goes out of their way to do things that I love, even if they do not.”

2. Lean Into Your Authentic Connection

Another way to make your partner feel truly loved is by bringing your authentic self to your connection, regularly checking in with each other and showing them that it matters to you to spend quality time together. Participants suggested two primary ways that partners nurtured their authentic connection and made them feel loved. Here’s how you can apply them to your relationship:

Cultivate mutual affinity. Mutual affinity is about wanting to be together, not out of obligation but because you genuinely enjoy each other’s company. This can be as simple as spending quality time together, talking about a future together and having meaningful conversations or sharing experiences that bring you closer. It’s about being present, both physically and emotionally. For example, you can set aside time every week for a special “date night,” where you disconnect from distractions and truly focus on each other.

Focus on being in sync with each other. Feeling loved also comes from the sense of being understood. This happens when partners actively listen, empathize and show interest in each other’s worlds. It’s about being emotionally available, paying attention to small details and sharing vulnerabilities. For instance, if your partner mentions they’re nervous about an upcoming presentation, remember to check in afterward to see how it went.

“People (felt) loved when both partners’ feelings and thoughts were in sync with each other, such that the two parties become mentally one,” the researchers write.

3. Offer Them Strong A Sense Of Stability

Lastly, one of the most powerful ways to make your partner feel loved is by being a trustworthy, unwavering presence in their lives. This is about being reliable and creating a relationship where they feel safe, secure and valued throughout, even in your most challenging times together.

Researchers found that people feel deeply loved when they experience such dependability and unconditional love from their partners. Here’s how to incorporate this into your own relationship:

Be dependable. Dependability is about being someone your partner can count on, no matter the circumstances. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean showing up consistently—whether that’s by keeping promises, being honest or offering support in times of need. Even small gestures, like sending a quick text to check in during a hectic day or remembering meaningful anniversaries can reinforce your dependability.
    
Show them your love can be trusted. This involves loving your partner without conditions or extreme expectations. It’s about accepting them as they are, flaws and all, and standing by them through both successes and failures. For instance, if your partner makes a mistake or is struggling with self-doubt, offer compassion instead of criticism. This creates a powerful sense of safety, where your partner feels free to be their authentic self without fear of judgment, rejection or abandonment.

The beauty of these behaviors is that they don’t require perfection, just genuine effort, intention and consistency. At its core, love is about creating a space where two people can be their truest selves without fear.

It’s not about perfection or always having the right words to say. It’s about the quiet moments of understanding, the small acts of care and the steady presence that says, “I’m here, no matter what.”

What’s surprising is that the things that make people feel most loved aren’t complicated or extravagant. They’re simple, human gestures—being present, being kind, being reliable. And yet, these small acts have the power to shape a relationship in profound ways. Through these acts, you’re doing more than making your partner feel loved—you’re also giving them the courage to love you back just as deeply.