Alice Mamaga Amoako • A mother worth celebrating

On March 1, Alice Mamaga Akosua Amoako turned 33. To mark her birthday, she took to Facebook to share a part of her life known to only family and a few close friends.

Mamaga, a mother of one, had, in 2022, become a legal guardian to three boys who had tragically lost their mother.

While adoption and legal guardianship are not new in Ghana, what made her decision different was that two out of the three are children with special needs.

The eldest of the three siblings, then 11, is on the autism spectrum, while the youngest, then only a year old, has Down syndrome.

The middle boy, then two years old, was around the same age as her biological son, making her a mother of a set of “artificial twins” and two children with special needs.

Last Wednesday, when The Mirror spoke to her at the Graphic Online Studios in Accra, she recounted how she met the father and family of the children after their mother died and her decision to take care of them.

She said their father had come to the Hopesetters Autism Centre in Tema where she was a programmes coordinator.

The man, still battling the trauma following the loss of his wife, was looking for a place where his children would be well-catered for and supported to achieve their full potential.

“I had worked in the special needs space for almost 11 years. I knew very well that there would be a point in my life where I have to be a very stronghold or greater support system to a special needs child. And so having to meet these children, for me, was something I had already prepared my mind for,” she explained.

Her relationship with the children, she said, grew over time as they spent weekends together having fun, then looking out for their welfare before gradually becoming an official guardian to them.

“As a young lady, when I heard the story of the kids for the first time, I just asked myself, what if I had equally left them behind, three children, with two having special needs? I'll be wondering how life would have been for them. And for someone who already had a child, I could feel that inner emotion,” she explained further.

Overcoming stereotypes
To date, there are many stereotypes and misconceptions around children with special needs and she said her decision was met with comments intended to deter her from associating with the children.

“The general narrative of associating with special needs children came with its own bashing, you know, people cautioning me to be careful, because bad things will come my way.

You may end up giving birth to a special needs child. No man would want to marry you again because you've associated with these children and all that.” 
 

These comments, she said, did not discourage her because she had spent years working with children with special needs and had developed tough skin against such utterances.

“Back then in 2014, when I had to start the Autism Ambassadors of Ghana, it was a great challenge. Everyone felt like for a young, brilliant girl from Ghana Telecom University, you'd want to find something else to do rather than run a social enterprise to support children with autism. So I had already dealt with such challenges back then from 2014, and by 2022 when I met my boys, I think I was fully grown and matured on how to handle some of these things," she added.

Navigating challenges
When Mamaga met her boys, Regalo, the first boy, had challenges with communication, which is common in people with autism and could also not read. With her support and recommendations to the right therapists, he currently communicates well, reads and continues to build on his confidence.

“He reads and writes. He's able to WhatsApp you when he isn't around you. The most amazing part of it is that now he's getting into the space of public speaking. Last year, at the Ghana Autism Conference, Regalo read the opening speech and we are looking forward to him doing more.”

According to her, the youngest, Bendilo, now four, had speech challenges. However, because of the bond he has with his family and siblings, he is also building his speech gradually.

“Sometimes, it's not just about taking them for therapy. The biggest therapy is self-healing, which happens at home. So, we've all been positive about it. Bendilo also picks the conversations we are having, our behaviour and everything. I remember the first day he called me ‘mama’. No one had to teach him how to do that. It happened naturally for him to call me ‘mama’. 

“When he needs something, he's be able to tell you. You won't get the full sentences, but you are sure that he knows what he wants and then he's able to communicate with you.

He's also gradually growing and we know that he would definitely do better,” she explained.

She said while the best investment they had made into the children was showing them love, they had also invested in therapies, which are expensive and require a lot of commitment and patience.

Changing the narrative
Mamaga told this reporter that she had moved past comments that questioned her decision, saying, “They will still come. But one thing I know is doing this for these boys will help to change their narrative and demystify the myths around special needs children. They are amazing to be with and they come with their own blessings.

“One of the things I've been very convinced of is that this decision of being there for these boys has been one of the best decisions of my life. Like I said, I didn't have to struggle to think through. I had already prepared myself and my mind as a young lady that this was what I wanted to do.
 

“ I think that it is about time the Ghanaian society prioritises inclusion. That is, including special needs children and persons with disabilities as much as we can, because they are like us.”
She expressed gratitude to their father, Mr Nash Fiifi Eyison, for his support, providing the resources and ensuring that their needs were well catered for.

Writer’s email: efiaamoakoa2@gmail.com