Boys matter
The day our son, Animuonyam, was born remains one of the most memorable days of my life. I can recall that day so well because his birth birthed a world of joy inside me.
Peering into his beautiful face, I knew I had a new responsibility to raise this young man to be a better version of myself.
Parenthood is protection. Every parent who wants the best for their children must guard them from all the vices of society. Like a wall, parents must intentionally shield their wards from evil influence. One such influence is a paedophile.
Child sexual abuse, even though an uncomfortable discussion, should be had in every home. Our children must know what abuse is and what it is not.
This was the motivation behind Animuonyam’s second book, Animuonyam and the Queer Man, launched in 2023.
When my wife and I wrote that book, we meant for it to be more than just another book. It was written as a weapon for our children ― a rare opportunity to educate children to foresee abuse before it even happens.
Over the years, victims of sexual abuse have often been thought of as females. Defilement of boys almost seems unheard of because society assumes it is only our daughters who are vulnerable. Well, everybody is vulnerable.
The multi-million-dollar question is, “Where do sexually abused boys go?” Who listens to a boy when he laments his abuse? How do our sons report irresponsible, grown adults who may want to take advantage of them? Will anyone even believe them?
Every parent must be the first listening ear of their child. If our children turn to their friends as their first listening ear, they will mess up their lives with bad advice.
Every day, we must be ready to pay attention to what our children have to tell us.
Sexual abuse of boys has been a matter that has been little spoken of in our society. The ripple effects that such abuse has on these boys are unimaginable.
They sometimes grow up to wear the shoes of their abusers. Many sexual offenders today have been proven to have experienced some sexual abuse of a sort in times past, especially when they were vulnerable.
The world we live in keeps getting more sophisticated by the day. Things that took ages to be done some years ago take only minutes to get done today.
Back in the day, it was very difficult for young people to come across explicit content, for instance. It was very hard to have access to such materials that corrupted their minds. Today, such contents are only a click away.
Times have changed, and every parent needs to adapt. The more complex the world’s problems become, the more complex solutions we ought to carve.
Many thieves are prowling out there, stealing the innocence of our children. They are all over the internet. They may be our respected pastors or spiritual heads. They may be people who know our children more than we even do.
The world has inched closer to our children today than it used to be. Both good and evil are closer to them today than they were yesterday.
And… that is why parenthood today is a full-time career no parent should take for granted. You either pay attention to your children today or pay for their attention tomorrow.
The more sophisticated our world becomes, the more vulnerable we all, especially our children, become to evil.
If you have a child in this era, you should be more concerned about them than you would have been if you had had them probably five decades ago.
Every child of yours stands the risk of being abused sexually by their peers or someone older than they are. The danger of raising a child now is that they may be enduring sexual abuse without your notice.
Some victims may be battling guilt and trauma. The gadgets around them are only a cover-up.
Once in a long while, every parent needs to pause and ask themselves if they are cordial enough with their children for them to open up when abused.
Every parent has to ponder whether their children will be brave enough to confide in them when anyone attempts to molest them sexually ― even if the culprit is the other parent.
Every parent must know that the culprits of sexual abuse do not come from Venus. People who abuse our children do not have tails or horns.
They are humans and, most especially, very close to us. They may be our children’s teachers. They can be their mentors, or their favourite aunts or uncles. The abuser can even be the other parent!
Be vigilant. Do not entertain anyone calling your children their husband or wife. Do not encourage environments where profanity and sexual jokes thrive.
It is quite unfortunate how some parents react to children who are brave enough to share their trauma. Do not be another parent who blames or penalises their children for their abuse.
Any parent who tries to shut up their child is only an accomplice to that abuse!
Sexual abuse is a matter many victims shun. The stigmatisation of victims has increased their loud silence. Despite how loud social media and the internet are today, the voices of victims are barely heard. They all fear the consequences of society coming after them.
Our boys matter. We must lend them a shoulder to lean on. We must protect them with all that we have.
Being a parent is not the same as parenthood. One is a title. The other is a responsibility.
Be responsible for your title. You are a steward of your children.
Be certain you are protecting this gift God has given you and raising them as best as you can. Pay attention to their emotional needs and all other needs.
At every point in time in your life as a parent, you are either preventing abuse of your children or you are an accomplice to it!
The writer is the Chief Scribe of Scribe Productions (www.scribeproductions.com) and Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com). His playwriting masterclass is slated for Saturday, March 28 and Sunday, March 29, 2026. Call 0546098082 for enquiries.
