Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Whilst most of our friends are there for us through thick and thin and can always be relied on for a good time, we've all encountered the toxic friend.

Indeed, the toxic friend is the one who’s more interested in your misfortunes, doesn't share your joy when you have good news and leaves you feeling utterly drained with their negativity.

According to relationship expert India Kang, there are five vital signs you can spot in a toxic friend.

Here, she shares five questions you need to ask yourself to figure out whether your friend is having a negative impact on your life - and if you can answer all five, it's time to cut them out of your life for good. 

Who initiates most of the contact?

Who initiates most of the contact is an important barometer in any friendship. Friendships get toxic when one of you is way more invested than the other.

If you’re mostly initiating contact, or always having to make the effort, start taking a step back to see what happens. You’ll easily see which friends are meant to be in your life versus those who aren’t.

How do they make you feel?

How you feel in their company and how you feel once you’ve parted company is a great way to tell if you’re in a toxic friendships. 

If you’re left feeling drained, angry or even resentful, release the friendship. You’ve probably outgrown each other. If, on the other hand, they leave you feeling refreshed, revitalised and alive, they’re keepers.

Do they add or subtract to your life?

Do you dread meeting up with them? If there’s no fun left in your friendship, it’s time to break up. 

Friendships shouldn’t detract from your life, neither should you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Great friendships actually boost your immune system, while toxic friendships leave you feeling off balance.

Do they support your life goals?

Are they always criticising your hopes and dreams or are they supportive? Do they make you feel guilty for pursuing your goals? Can you count on their support when the chips are down? 

Good friends want the best for you and are your biggest cheerleaders. Toxic friends will act jealous, mean spirited and may even try to sabotage your hopes and dreams.

Are they hard to pin down?

If they’re always ‘too busy’ to meet you, or, if they constantly cancel pre-arranged plans, stop investing in this friendship. Instead, invest in friends who value your time, lift you up and want to spend time with you.