When he’s no longer there: Will your anchor hold?
“You always asked me, what will you do when I’m not around?”
The words of a grieving widow now echo as a life-changing question every married woman should ask herself before tragedy strikes.
The grief that filled the air on August 6, 2025, was heavy enough to bend hearts.
Eight lives, five government officials and three service men, were cut short in a military helicopter crash while serving their nation.
As tributes flowed, each told a story of honour, courage and lives lived with purpose.
But one tribute, spoken on behalf of Mrs Rita Omane Boamah, pierced deeper than most.
It was not just a farewell; it was a challenge, a reminder, and for many women, a wake-up call.
“You always asked me, what will you do when I’m not around?”
It was a question her late husband had posed to her while he was still alive, perhaps half in jest, perhaps in solemn foresight.
But on that day, those words echoed across the room, carrying a sobering truth: none of us knows the hour when our loved one will be taken.
Her words instantly took me back to my own late mother, Diana Akosua Abboah’s wisdom.
She would often tell me: “My beloved son, observe, learn, and know so that when I am not around, you will succeed in life.”
She insisted that I should be prepared, skilled, responsible and capable of standing on my own two feet, long before life demanded it.
That wisdom became the bedrock of my resilience.
And it is the very wisdom that women, especially married women who depend solely on their husbands, must urgently embrace today.
Dependence can be dangerous comfort
For some women, their husband’s income is the sole pillar holding up the home.
It is comforting until that pillar is suddenly gone.
Death, illness, job loss, or even abandonment can shatter the fragile stability of a single-income household overnight.
If you are not working, not earning, and not building skills, you might think, “I don’t need to; my husband takes care of everything.”
But here’s the hard truth: if your husband is no longer there, by death or by life’s unpredictable turns, what will you do?
The aftermath of tragedy is not the time to start from scratch.
Grief alone is a heavy load; adding financial desperation on top of it can crush even the strongest spirit.
The lesson behind the loss
We cannot undo the events of August 6, 2025.
We cannot call back the helicopter or rewrite the ending.
But we can, if we are wise, learn from the echoes of that day.
The grief of those widows and children should not only break our hearts; it should awaken our minds.
Mrs Boamah’s tribute is not just a memory; it is a mirror.
It asks every woman to look at her own life and answer honestly such as:
Am I prepared to manage my home if my husband is gone?
Do I have skills that can put food on the table?
And have I built the confidence to make decisions, pay bills, and lead my family if necessary?
Preparation is not rebellion
Let’s be clear, this is not a call for women to reject or diminish their husbands’ roles.
On the contrary, it is about becoming a stronger partner.
A marriage thrives when both people contribute not only financially, but also in wisdom, resilience and preparedness.
A woman who works, saves and learns is not competing with her husband; she is securing their family’s future.
If tragedy never comes, her skills and earnings still add strength to the marriage.
If tragedy does come, her preparation could be the difference between stability and destitution.
Practical steps women can take today
1. Learn a Marketable Skill – Whether it’s tailoring, catering, hairdressing, digital marketing, or bookkeeping, invest in something that can bring income.
2. Start Saving, Even Small Amounts – Build an emergency fund, even if it starts with coins in a jar.
3. Understand the Family Finances – Know where accounts are held, how bills are paid, and how to budget.
4. Network and Build Support Systems – Surround yourself with trustworthy friends, mentors and community groups.
5. Educate Yourself Continually – Read, attend workshops, and learn both life and business skills.
Faith and preparedness go hand in hand
As Christians, we know God is our ultimate provider. But faith is not an excuse for passivity.
Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous woman as one who “works with willing hands,” “considers a field and buys it,” and “provides food for her household.”
She is prayerful and proactive.
When you prepare yourself, you honour God by stewarding the resources, abilities and time He has given you.
You also honour your marriage by ensuring that your family is protected in every season of life.
Word to the wise
We grieve the loss of those eight brave men. We honour their service, their courage and the love they gave their families.
But let us not miss the living message that came through the tears of their widows: life is unpredictable, and preparation is not optional.
If you are a woman reading this today, take Mrs Boamah’s words to heart.
Ask yourself, “If my husband is not there, what will I do?” And then, start answering that question with action.
Because tomorrow is never promised, but readiness is always possible.
The writer resides in Toronto, Canada
Writer’s email: teemagi2003@yahoo.com
