Ghanaian women talking sex positions
Open discussion of sex is a sensitive issue in many African societies, including Ghana. Part of the reasons for this is due to the common belief that people (especially “good” women) must keep sexual matters within the confines of sexual unions because of the associated disgrace it connotes to themselves and their spouses.
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This article is about Ghanaian women’s cultural beliefs about sex positions and women’s sexual agency thereof. The study focuses on women because it presents an alternative “voice” to the dominant [male] discourse.
For those wondering how this researcher was able to recruit respondents to open up on their sexual behaviour, I often approached potential participants with the view of having general discussions about youth sexual behaviour. This approach was useful because in Ghana, adult women and men are willing to share their views on adolescent sexuality especially in relation to what they regard as “immoral” behaviour among the youth. In the course of our discussion, I found ways to redirect the discussion to focus on the participant’s own sexual experiences.
Sex positions form important part of sexual intercourse. Yet, we know little about the reasons surrounding the preference for a particular sexual position. Sex positions offer partners the opportunity to enhance sexual satisfaction. In most societies across the world, sexual intercourse has a lot to do with the sexual satisfaction of the partners.
For instance, a union between a man and a woman is intended as a source of happiness, procreation, and it typically provides a reliable means for mutual satisfaction of sexual desires. The sexual dissatisfaction of a partner could constitute good grounds for sexual resistance or the infidelity of a partner. Thus, sex positions have implications for the way individuals engage in sexual practices, including sexual satisfaction.
Traditional sexual practice
One researcher called Nsekuy Bizimana, for example, illustrated how a certain traditional sexual practice termed in Rwanda and Burundi as kunyaza and in Uganda as ‘kachabali’ enables the genital erogenous zones of a woman to be stimulated to increase sexual pleasure based on the several sex positions it offers the partners involved. Kunyaza is believed in Central Africa to be a good technique for triggering female sexual pleasure. During the simple practice of kunyaza, the man rhythmically and continuously strikes the glans of the clitoris with the glans of his erect penis in many different positions such as sitting positions, lying positions, position from behind, standing positions and positions used during pregnancy.
Sex position decisions are also influenced by sexual beliefs and power relations, with religion and marriage considered as the maininfluence. For example, there is the perception that a ‘good’ woman should not deny the husband sex. Others also argue that in the context where sexual pleasure tends to be defined as a motivation for the kind of sex position employed, women tend to be subordinated, especially as they seek to ensure a male partner’s fidelity or ‘faithfulness.’
However, studies show that different cultures structure women’s sexual response differently although it remains unclear how women portray themselves as active agents of sex position decision making.
There is no documented studies on sex positions in Ghana although various traditional artifacts and symbols give us some inkling about the various sex positions that partners engage in, as captured by typical cultural artifacts among the Asante of Ghana below.
The central question, therefore, is: How do Ghanaian women negotiate sex positions with their male counterparts?
The women mentioned different kinds of sex positions, which were categorised into five main sex positions, namely woman on top, man on top, side-by-side, rear-penetration position and standing sex position.
One major reason for a particular sex position is pleasure. For the women, sexual discomfort experienced through deeper penile ‘penetration’ or during their menstrual cycle trigger their refusal to have sex. For example, some interviewees claimed that a “woman on top” position enables them to delay their partner’s ejaculation (what they referred to as ‘release’ or ‘come’), especially in situations where such partners tend to experience early ejaculation. One woman had this to say:
‘I enjoy sex more when I’m on top. You see, being on top makes me feel I am in charge [in control]. With this one (points to the man on top sex position) he does everything and I do not matter to him’ (married, 35 years).
Adventure and fun were other reasons that explained sex position decisions. Some women reported that the ultimate aim of sex is for pleasure, hence the need to explore varying options to stimulate pleasure. Marriage and steady relationship also explain women’s decision to engage a male partner in sex positions for adventure or for fun.
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However, in order not to be refused sex, even men were of the view that some sex positions are most preferred with casual female sexual (unmarried) partners than a regular (married) partner in order not to give grounds to be refused. Since men assume that women do not have as much sex as men do, this notion aided women’s sexual practices, including sex position negotiations.
Fears
Both women and men in our sample had sexual fears. The fears included ‘bad’ or unwanted sexual practices due to lack of sexual restraint, in particular, the choice of a sex position. Moral upbringing (with religion as an important factor) and sexual consciousness informed this view. Expressions such as ‘my religion forbids that’ and ‘it’s not good’ were used to exercise sexual resistance through religious consciousness. A woman aged 30 years had this to say:
‘I know that thing [anal sex] is bad and painful even from my little experience if he is trying to enter the wrong way. That’s why I am careful when doing these positions.’ (unmarried).
Women used threats of sexual refusal in negotiating for sex positions. The women indicated that their men need the vagina to have sex, hence, women used this notion to negotiate their sex position preferences. Even for women who were blackmailed (e.g. threatened that the relationship would end) to have sex, they still managed to use the vagina to negotiate sex on their own terms.
“You see, mostly, he is the one in need of the thing [sex]. He knows that I like this position or I don’t like that position, so if he insists, I will just get up and go into the hall and leave him lying there. I have tried this before. He will come and beg me: “Let’s go to bed, I will never try that again”. (31 years, married).
Further, women also shared fears about their reproductive health in relation to sex positions. This perception was steeped in myths and misconceptions. A woman, for example, had the view that due to the discomforts associated with the performance of some sex positions, they could affect the ability to bear children since it can “push the womb far”. Indeed, this is a common myth across cultures in Ghana. She had this to say:
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‘My experience shows that the thing [penis] enters too deep when you do this style [rear entry]. Sometimes you see blood after wards’ (unmarried, 36 years).
Even for some men, engaging in some sex positions could have negative effects on ’manhood’, i.e. his inability to make a woman pregnant in future.
The findings from this study demonstrate that the willingness of Ghanaian women and men to perform sex positions or not comes, at least in part, from sexual awareness, the desire to maximise sexual pleasure and perceptions of fear. The women were not inhibited in any way regarding sex position decisions, irrespective of their religious persuasions and marital status.
However, the need to address issues that would make sexual pleasure seeking easier for women and men and the removal of barriers of fears is compelling. Well-intentioned sexuality programmes and publications about sex positions and techniques for Ghanaian women and men are necessary.
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However, such publications should be based on empirical data and sensitivity to the Ghanaian culture.
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The writer is a feminist sexologist and a sex therapist with interest in masculinities, sexualities and sexual health. His recent work includes Sexual Pleasure and the construction of Masculinities and Femininities in Ghana.