Ghana is mourning eight fallen heroes who were husbands, brothers, sons and men devoted to serving their motherland wholeheartedly.
They were also fathers who have left young ones behind ‒ the youngest being a month or two old.
This tragic incident is hard for even adults to process.
There have been more questions than answers. Getting closure may remain a mirage for many.
In our sorrow and grief, many more children may also be grieving at a time when 16 children were also recently devoured through a road traffic accident.
How easy has it been to break such news to children in an era where social media users are falling over themselves to be the first to share news items?
It is important that breaking news is done in a timely but sensitive manner to protect children especially from the rude shock of hearing the news from friends, social media or other unrelated persons before hearing it from those who have the duty of care.
Adults must first separate their emotions about the issue from the information to be disclosed to the children
This way, they can be strong enough to bear and support the unpredictable reactions of their young hearers.
Most children will find it hard to even react at the point when the news is broken.
Depending on the age of the child, it can take a while to process and sink in the reality.
That is why information given must be age-appropriate.
This means few details will be given to young children as compared to teenagers.
For children, their preoccupation will mostly be on how this affects them.
They need reassurance that they are loved and that they will be okay.
Such reassurance is easy to embrace when it is being given by trusted adults who are already committed to loving and caring for them.
Older children may want to know what the bad news means for them and how it may change their lives or not.
Prepared
To break any news to children, adults must ensure that they are prepared and have as many facts about the matter.
Children can take the information offered and fill in any lost details with their own imaginations.
This missing bit they imagine can be gloomier and self-destructive than the reality.
In an attempt to spare the child grief, many adults will want to fabricate stories.
This is worse for children to deal with than with the truth.
Even statements that we perceive should be comforting such as “Daddy has gone to a better place” can leave the young child asking ‒ what was wrong with this place?
What did they do to make this place so miserable that Daddy felt he should be better off in another place?
Though they may not ask all these questions at once, they continue to toss and turn what they have been told in their heads.
Subsequent discussions will be on what happens in the afterlife, to which adults should be ready with answers and not more tales.
Simple
Simple, clear and concise information should be given to children of all ages using the age-appropriate language.
For most children around five years of age, it is hard to comprehend that someone can be gone forever. For them, the person is gone and will be coming soon.
Some children may be emotionally volatile and so it may be tempting to withhold some information.
We may complicate the mourning process for them when we leave them out of what is happening, giving them grounds to assume that somehow, they are responsible for the mishap.
If the task of breaking news is too daunting, it is better to involve other adults such as a teacher, pastor or family friend who is endeared to the child.
The writer is a Child development expert/Fellow of the Zero-To-Three Academy, USA.
E-mail: nanaesi.gaisie@
wellchildhaven.com
