Love is not lust - Christian response to culture of Valentine's Day

Every February 14, the national colour of romance becomes red.

Restaurants fill with customers, gift shops are emptied of roses and chocolates, and social media timelines overflow with public declarations of affection.

In recent years, “Val’s night” has become a prominent cultural event in Ghana — especially among the youth.

At its best, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love.

At its worst, it becomes a rationale for excess, emotional exploitation and moral compromise.

As people of faith — and as a society that values family — we must ask an honest question: What kind of love are we celebrating?

There is a vital distinction between love, infatuation and lust.

When these are confused, the result can be broken hearts, broken homes and broken futures.

Understanding difference

Love, in its purest sense, is selfless, patient and enduring.

It is rooted in commitment and guided by responsibility.

True love seeks the good of the other person, even at personal cost. It protects dignity, builds trust and stands the test of time.

Infatuation, however, is emotional intensity without depth. It is driven by attraction, excitement and novelty.

It burns brightly but often briefly.

Many relationships that begin with overwhelming happiness crumble when reality replaces emotion.

Lust goes further still.

Lust is a self-centred desire. It reduces another person to an object of gratification.

It is not concerned with commitment or consequences.

Lust asks, “What can I get?” Love asks, “What can I give?”

In today’s Valentine’s culture, these lines are often blurred.

Romantic gestures are not wrong in themselves.

Thoughtful gifts and shared moments can be beautiful expressions of care.

The danger arises when Valentine’s Day becomes an excuse for behaviour that dishonours God and diminishes human dignity.

Risks of reducing love to physical connection

One troubling aspect of modern Valentine celebrations is the pressure to equate love with physical intimacy.

Young people are often told — directly or indirectly — that affection must be “proven” through sexual activity.

That pressure has led many to decisions they later regret.

When love is reduced to physical expression alone, serious consequences can follow.

First, emotional wounds.

Physical intimacy creates strong emotional bonds.

When relationships built on passion rather than commitment collapse, the pain can linger.

Second, moral compromise.

For Christians, the body is sacred.

Love that pressures someone to violate his or her conscience or faith is not love but coercion disguised as romance.

Third, social consequences.

Ghana continues to face concerns such as teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and the psychological effects of unstable relationships.

While Valentine’s Day is not the cause, the culture surrounding “Val’s night” can sometimes encourage risky behaviour.

Commercialisation has also distorted the meaning of love.

Expensive gifts, lavish spending and public displays have created subtle competition.

Some feel pressured to measure affection by the cost of a present.

In such an environment, love becomes transactional rather than transformational.

Reality ‘Val’s Night’

Let us speak frankly. In many of our cities, February 14 has evolved into a night of indulgence.

Parties stretch into the early hours.

Alcohol flows freely. Boundaries that are clear in daylight can become blurred at midnight.

Not every celebration ends in regret.

Many couples honour the day responsibly.

Many families share meaningful moments. Yet the excesses are visible enough to demand reflection.

What are we teaching our young people?

Is love pleasure without responsibility?

Must romance be physically proven? Is worth now defined by social media validation?

Parents, churches, schools and media houses must not remain silent.

Guidance should not be mistaken for judgment.

Our youth need clarity, not condemnation; wisdom, not ridicule.

The aim is not to suppress love but to purify its meaning.

Christ: Model of true love

Christians need not search far for the true definition of love.

The ultimate model is found in Jesus Christ. His love was not impulsive; it was intentional.

It was not exploitative; it was sacrificial.

The greatest expression of love in history was not a romantic dinner, but a cross.

Christ gave Himself — not to take advantage, but to redeem.

His love was faithful even when rejected, patient even when misunderstood and pure even in the face of temptation.

True love is not proven in a single night of excitement.

It is proven over time — through commitment, faithfulness and self-control.

It honours God and safeguards human dignity.

For married couples, Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to renew affection and gratitude.

For those in relationships, it can be a time to reaffirm shared values and boundaries.

For singles, it need not be a day of pressure; it can be a reminder that one’s worth is rooted in God’s love.

Rethink love

Valentine’s Day is not the enemy.

Love should be celebrated.

Kindness should be shown.

But love must never be reduced to lust.

Ghana is a nation deeply shaped by faith, culture and family.

We can celebrate love without surrendering virtue.

We can encourage romance without endorsing recklessness.

We can teach our sons that true strength includes self-control.

We can teach our daughters that their value is not defined by gifts or attention.

Let us raise a generation that understands this truth: Love builds; lust consumes.

Love protects; lust exploits. Love waits; lust rushes.

For in the end, love is not merely about what we feel in a moment; it is about what we choose for a lifetime.

And true love always gives more than it takes.

The writer a Minister, Presbyterian Church of Ghana/former Public Relations Officer of the Church/journalist & public relations practitioner.