In love with a bad guy?
A relationship is a woman’s greatest emotional need. The affection and companionship she receives nurture her feminine spirit and make her feel she has “arrived.”
Through relationships, many women find fulfilment and a sense of security because they feel wanted, valued and cherished.
Sadly, many women find their identity in a man and believe they need a man to be complete. Some stay in relationships for personal benefits or social status because in Ghana, single women—no matter their achievements—often do not receive much respect. To many people, a single woman is never considered “good enough,” regardless of her age, talent, wealth or success.
As a result, many women remain in relationships no matter how badly they are treated because they fear what will happen if they leave. Others are obsessed with love and develop a high tolerance for pain, staying even when there are clear signs that the man is bad or the relationship is dead in spirit.
Imagine a woman in a five-year relationship. She desperately wants to marry, but the man insists marriage is out of the question. He has multiple lovers, humiliates and abuses her in public, and makes financial demands so he can spend on other women.
He never takes her out and has warned her not to call him. Though she constantly complains, she finds it extremely difficult to leave because she believes she loves him too much.
Women!
Signs your man is not suitable for you
• Your man does not meet your basic needs—companionship, affection, commitment and financial security. He is never there when you need him most. He never appreciates your efforts and may abuse you physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually.
• He manipulates you into believing you need him more than he needs you. He breaks down your self-esteem to make you vulnerable and dependent, treats you poorly, yet convinces you that everything he does is for your own good.
• He never takes you out and keeps the relationship secret. He does not introduce you to friends or relatives. He refuses to listen or communicate and every suggestion turns into a fight. What you experience instead is intolerance, dishonesty, abuse, selfishness and poor communication. The bottom line is that there is no intimacy, passion or fulfilment.
Your options in a bad relationship
1. Work on the relationship
This is often the best option. In many cases, one committed partner can turn a relationship around. Avoid blame and focus on yourself—what you can do better or differently. Godly actions such as effective communication, commitment, forgiveness and prayer can positively influence your partner.
2. Do nothing and tough it out
This option leads to withdrawal, mistrust, suspicion, tension and anxiety, exposing you to mental, physical and emotional harm.
3. Walk away
After doing your best and seeing no positive change, the final option is to leave the relationship.
Are you struggling to leave?
When a woman truly loves a man, she gives her whole heart. Walking away can be extremely painful and emotionally draining. You may experience depression, heartbreak and loss of motivation.
But if enduring hard times is the price of reclaiming your life, do not hesitate. The experience will make you stronger and wiser.
There is no point staying in a relationship with no future. If you stay with the wrong man, you will never meet the right one. For every bad man you stay with, there are hundreds of better men around you.
Never think you can change a bad man—he rarely gets better and often gets worse. If you tolerate hardship, a bad man will test you with even harsher treatment until you break down.
You have only one life and the time to take it back is now. Never sacrifice your life for a bad man. Do not blame yourself or think you are a failure. Nobody can save you from a bad relationship except you.
Be strong. Pull yourself together. Choose a safe time and place, calmly tell him it is over, and do not engage in excuses or endless discussions. Walk away from a bad man and move toward freedom.
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