Build your marriage on commitment

Today, marriage has become a battlefield with many casualties. Global studies show that while 60 per cent of all marriages break down, 20 per cent of marriages are lifeless.

This means that if you marry today, you have only a 20 per cent chance that you will have a fulfilling marriage. 

A major cause of marriage failure is a lack of commitment. Many people want marriage only for the benefits, but with no commitment.

Importance of commitment

Commitment is a decision to have a successful marriage that God desires, regardless of circumstances or whether you think your spouse is doing their part or not.

Commitment obligates you to fulfil your vows. It is a parameter for lifestyle in marriage. Inside it, you have a successful marriage; outside it, you fail.

This means unless you commit to your marriage, you have only promises and hopes.

Studies show partners who commit to marriage are more effective in solving their problems. They are more likely to have a lasting and happy marriage. No marriage works outside commitment.

How to stay committed to your marriage

To commit to your marriage means you make your spouse the only person you cherish most for the rest of your life.

You love your spouse unconditionally, and your marriage is more important to you than anything in life.

It is also important to appreciate that commitment is more than words; action is the essence. 

You pursue actions that create positive results in your marriage.

Realise that marriage is a covenant before God, a permanent agreement just like the covenant God makes with us. Marriage is also a vocation;

God calls you for life to serve Him by what you do for your spouse. You never turn back on the call of your Maker when you face challenges.

Put the focus on yourself and be a change agent. If you want your marriage to be strong, first nurture all areas of your life.

When you change for the better, you get the best in your life. When you adopt the blame game, you take the problem and solution out of your control, and nothing works in your marriage. You must also focus on the good in your spouse and the sins in you.

Each day, find something in your spouse and show appreciation, and think of what is praiseworthy.

Focus on the purpose of marriage and pursue it. Make time for your spouse and support him or her.

Let your sexual life be active and train your children to be useful to themselves, your family, church, society and God.

Play your God-ordained roles well. A man must be a leader, love his wife and honour her. 

A woman must be submissive and a helper. Keep doing what builds a marriage – mutual respect, effective communication and a forgiving spirit.

God is always looking to strengthen those who are fully committed to Him. If He does not build your marriage for you, you build in vain. You must, therefore, call on God to help you. 

Studies show couples who stay strong in their faith, pray, read the Bible and live God’s word can stand strong even in the storms of inevitable life and have a far lower rate of divorce as compared to those who do not live by the Christian faith.

You must, therefore, take up your cross each day and follow Jesus.

Build your marriage on the rock of commitment

In Mt. 7:23-27, Jesus talks of a house built of sand. When the rains came down and the winds blew against it, it fell with a great crash.

Another house was built on rocks, and when the wind blew against it, it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock.

God desires to bless us with His holy institution of marriage. Marriage, therefore, has many amazing benefits.  

The good news is that the successful marriage you deserve has little to do with circumstances but commitment. 

No matter your circumstances, take the word divorce out of your vocabulary and replace it with commitment.

The message is simple: if you desire a successful marriage, build it on the rock of commitment.

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