Looking for a good husband?

Two years ago, a wealthy businessman caught his wife red-handed in bed with one of the workers she supervised.

As he told his story, he wept and wondered why his wife would do this to him after all the big things he had done for her, including nice cars, a big house, trips abroad and an unrestricted amount of money to spend—yet she chose a poor worker. 

What this man didn’t know is that for many women, little things are the big things.

 She needs attention, affection, and a good sense of humour, and this worker seemed to provide that. It is, therefore, important to know what you want in a husband.

Qualities of a good husband

He is a good leader. A Ghanaian professor once said, “Leadership is cause; everything else is effect.” The success of a marriage often depends on strong leadership qualities.

A woman expects her man to be strong-willed, responsible, and able to take initiative. He should be a role model who, through exemplary character, positively influences his wife.

He provides security. This is a basic need. Emotional security allows a woman to share her feelings without fear of interruption or blame. A good husband assures his wife of his commitment and works to make the marriage succeed. 

He supports and protects her, treats her with respect so others will respect her, and encourages her to grow and achieve her aspirations. He also works hard to provide for the physical needs of the home, including shelter, food and medical care.

He makes quality time for his wife. He is accessible and listens to her concerns with attention and empathy. What concerns her concerns him, even if he sees it as small. He makes his wife his best friend and shares his life with her. Many women value time with their partner because it gives them a sense of security, comfort, and approval.

He goes out with her and spends time together in public, making her feel honoured and proud. He finds opportunities to appreciate and praise her.

He shows appreciation and honours her. A woman gives enormous support to her partner and wants her efforts to be acknowledged. Appreciation gives her a sense of fulfilment and makes her feel valued and cherished. A good husband does not take what she does for granted but praises her, no matter how small the effort. He treats her with warmth and tenderness.

He has a mission and a vision. He makes plans for his family—short, medium, and long term. He values his wife and involves her in decisions, as shared decision-making strengthens the marriage. Partnership builds a strong home.

He is kind. He expresses kindness through encouraging words, motivation, and hope. He also shows kindness through actions—acts of service, affection, and thoughtful gifts, which need not be expensive but consistent. Gifts can be simple signs of love and goodwill.

Are you a good husband?

Many husbands are surprised when their wives say they are not good husbands. The truth is that men and women often have different needs. Your wife will judge you by what matters to her, not necessarily by what matters to you.

If you spend all your time away chasing money, you may fall short because she may value your presence and companionship more than what you provide materially.

If you are unsure whether you are a good husband, ask your wife and listen to her, because she is in the best position to share how she feels.

You may find it is not too difficult to make your partner happy, because often the little things matter most. Be sincere, loyal, sensitive, and attentive. Let what matters to her matter to you.

If there is something your wife wants you to do to make her, happy, as much as possible, try to do it. Peace and happiness in a home are often mutual.

When you make your partner happy, you create an environment where both of you can thrive. A loving partner often returns care with even greater care.

Resolve to be a good husband and enjoy the many benefits a strong and healthy marriage can offer.