Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

There comes a moment in every relationship when you have to lady up and make a big-time apology to your S.O. Whether you did something small like accidentally making him feel left out at a party or something way bigger, like getting a little too close to another guy, there are a few ways to ensure you've made a sincere apology that has the best chance of sticking.

Here are some rules to keep in mind.

1. Actually say the words "I'm sorry." Your pride may make you reluctant to utter this all-important phrase, or maybe you just forget. Either way, it will make it seem like less of an actual apology if you leave this out. Even better, go on to say exactly what you're sorry for.

2. Repeat his feelings back to him. One of the easiest ways to make him feel like his feelings are valid is by showing you understand what's going on in his mind. Say something like, "I completely get why you're upset that I missed date night because I was working late. I know you were excited to check out that new restaurant, and I'm sorry for messing that up."

3. Don't get defensive. I know this is 10 times easier said than done! Even if you feel like he's taking too long to get over something, it's best to stifle your urge to say something sassy or get annoyed with him in return.

4. Avoid "I'm sorry you feel that way." That puts the root of his negative feelings on him rather than on something you did. The point of an apology is owning up to something you did wrong, and this phrase just seems like a deflection of blame.

5. Don't make excuses. Just like saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," excuses take some of the sincerity away from what you're saying. It's like you're sneakily asserting that even though he's hurt, you had a good reason to do what you did.

6. Seek forgiveness in the right way. Rather than asking for it, which can put pressure on him to get over his hurt before he's ready, I'm a fan of saying, "I hope you can forgive me."

7. Ask how you can make it up to him. After you've done your due apology diligence, it's time to find out what he thinks you can do to get the relationship back on track.