Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Getting an ex to fall for you again may seem like an impossible task, but it is possible. To get your ex to fall for you again, you need to think about what killed the relationship in the first place, then find ways to put your best self on display. You will also have to talk to your ex about your feelings and what you want to do about them at some point.

Keep your distance:  While you are deciding whether or not you want to get back together with your ex, you should not be in contact with him or her. It is important to have no contact with your ex to deal with your emotions, process the breakup, and prepare to move on. Even if you decide that you want to get back together, you will still need time to yourself and so will your ex. 

Don’t text your ex or respond to text messages from him or her until you feel you have had adequate time to process your breakup. This may be hard, but it is for the best.

Determine if your ex is available:  Before you try to determine if getting back together with your ex is the right decision, you may want to find out if your ex is even available. If it has been a while since the two of you broke up, then your ex may be seeing someone else. In this case, you may be better off pursuing relationships with other people instead. 

Don’t try to reunite with your ex if he or she is seeing someone else. Just pursue your own interests, see other people, and be patient.

Consider why you want your ex back:  While the relationship may have been great, sometimes it really is better to let a relationship or former partner go. Before you start trying to get your ex back, consider your reasons for wanting to do so. 

Some good reasons to get back together include: your timing was off the first time you were together, you needed more time to get over a previous relationship, or you have developed a new appreciation for what your ex provided for you. 

• Some bad reasons to try to get back with your ex include: you're scared of being alone (of course you're lonely after a relationship goes south, but that doesn't mean you should plunge right back into that relationship); you miss the familiar (again, there's no issue with this feeling, but it doesn't mean you should get back together); you're jealous of their new relationship (again, a totally allowable feeling, but not a good basis for a fresh relationship attempt).

You should enlist a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, to consider why you want to get back with your ex. They will help you tease out some less-than-stellar reasons and maybe help you move on.

Decide if the relationship was healthy and worth reviving:  In addition to considering your reasons for wanting to reunite with your ex, you should also consider the relationship overall to decide if it is worth reviving. If you broke up because the relationship was bad for one or both of you, then you may want to take some more time to consider whether it is worth reviving. 

For example, if you fought all of the time and did not enjoy spending time together, then the relationship is probably not worth reviving.

Make a list of pros and cons if you are unsure. If you have a lot of mixed feelings about why you want to get back together and if the relationship is worth reviving, try making a list of pros and cons to help you decide. Be honest with yourself as you make this list and don’t omit anything because it seems small or insignificant. List everything you can to get a good picture of the relationship and make a decision.