Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

One of the most frequent complaints men have about their partners is that they wish their women would initiate sex more often, or at least, that they would be more responsive to their sexual overtures. 

The reason for this common discrepancy is that male sexual desire is more robust and spontaneous, while female sexual desire is more variable and responsive to the environment. 

When it comes to sex, men are mostly genitally focused, whereas for women, sex is a full mind and body experience. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld: "The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen, and women are like fire. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what [they're] doing [they] can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."

Here are some of the ways to heat her up

1. Improve the ambiance

Women are a lot more distractible than men. They have difficulty tuning out loud noises like your barking dog or blaring TV lights. Set the mood at "sexual heat": put on her favourite music and spray some fragrant air freshener in your bedroom. It may sound funny to go to such trouble to seduce a woman who is already attracted or committed to you. "He cares”, that thought alone is enough to get her in the mood for sex.

2. Prolong the foreplay

The old cliché is true: women love foreplay! Foreplay does not mean immediately grabbing her clitoris. Real foreplay means starting out as far from her genitals as possible — holding her face, stroking her by Red AdBlocker" href="#">hair, kissing her temples, gazing into her eyes, or rubbing her neck and shoulders. 

Use just the very light touch of your fingertips called pattes d'araignee (the English translation "spider legs" somehow conjures up the wrong image). 

3. Be more sensual in your caresses

Majority of women prefer soft, tender touches and strokes all over their body until they get fully aroused. Sex therapists call this type of touch "non-demand touch" or "pleasure-focused outercourse." 

Don't just grab her breasts or butt. Instead, let your hands slowly reach those goals with long, gentle caresses. When she is fully aroused and dripping with desire, she may love the rougher play; but reserve that Neanderthal brute in you for the actual intercourse. 

If you are just not the touchy-feely type of guy, invite her to slow dance to a romantic instrumental playing on your stereo, or take a shower or bath together and wash her body from neck to toes with some sensual scented soaps and other bath products.