Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Many people take human life for granted and would easily kill to meet their selfish ends. Some kill for position, wealth, position and fame. Today many are killing for sex.

Many people take human life for granted and would easily kill to meet their selfish ends. Some kill for position, wealth, position and fame. Today many are killing for sex.

About a month ago, there was a story of a taxi driver who killed his university student with a knife because she refused him sex. There is also a case of a man who killed his woman because she refused him sex this year’s Valentine’s Day.

The poor girl went to her man on Valentine’s Day and hugged him. To the man, hugging must lead to sex and refusal of sex must lead to death.

Benefits of sex

Sex in marriage has amazing benefits for the body and mind. Regular sex reduces the risk of heart failure, stroke and prostate cancer. It is a good exercise and helps in weight control. Stimulation of sexual organs and orgasm triggers the body to increase oxytocin and endorphin which are natural pain killers to alleviate pain of every kind from minor headache, migraine, menstrual cramps and arthritis.

It improves the immune system and therefore reduces risk of diseases and makes one look younger and live longer.

 In men, regular sex is linked to better functions as they age. In women regular sex strengthens the vaginal and pelvic floor muscles to enhance chances of orgasm.

It reduces vaginal dryness and hot flashes in post-menopausal women.

Regular sex is the best stress management tool. It lowers blood pressure and reduces depression. It enhances good mood and increases self-esteem. It makes one happy and more effective at work.

Regular sex is also a powerful bonding agent which covers most conflicts. It would be hard to leave a spouse if sexual life is exciting.

Sex, therefore, promotes every area of life but it is beneficial only in marriage. Outside marriage, sex is sinful, harmful and unethical.

Men and sex

Men perform sex for pleasure, comfort, reassurance and ego enhancement. Regular sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired by his wife.

He also uses sex as a language to communicate unspoken expressions like ‘I am sorry or I love you’.

This means sometimes when a man makes advances on his wife, he is going through sex to apologise or express appreciation. Men grow their love through sex.

The danger

A man is like a gas cooker. Unlike a woman whose sexual desire peaks during ovulation and towards the end of her menstrual cycle, a man’s sexual drive is constant.

He gets sexual desire and gets  aroused quickly. The average man takes only 90 seconds to be ready for sex.

A man’s hormones pressure him to have sex quickly. When a man is excited, he responds more quickly than a woman because the blood vessels in the male organ dilate and fill quickly with blood making the male organ erect.

He can ignite, have sex and reach climax quickly anytime and even in the middle of a bitter conflict with his wife.

If a man has sexual urge, he becomes more and more out of control and all things including surroundings and circumstances must wait. Any woman in blouse and skirt such as house helps, lovers and even biological children will do.

At this stage, he does not take no for an answer and focuses only on his destination. Refusing your man sex could be risky because it makes him think you do not see him as worth your husband.

It also breaks his self-esteem and he tries to restore it by using all he has to get his way and this may lead to death. That is when some men think they are under the influence of Satan.

Will you kill for sex?

Sex is one of the greatest gifts of our Maker for procreation, mutual pleasure and spiritual development. It must, therefore, be treasured, celebrated and mutually enjoyed.

You must not do anything uncomfortable to your partner because sex is for pleasure and togetherness.

If you would never die for someone to enjoy himself or himself sexually, then never risk someone’s life for your pleasure.

Some animals including monkeys and bears are known to be promiscuous and would have sex for pleasure and comfort.

A bear, for example, could spend days courting a mate and sniff around to see if she is receptive before engaging in sex.

 Animals never rape, harm and kill for sex. Human beings must do better. In everything, we must do better to protect human lives. Never compromise human life for few moments of fun in sex.

Email jydboakye01@gmail.com. The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide to Marriage, Love Unlimited and The Journey of Love.

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