Christmas and orphans

It is that time of the year again when orphanages and other children’s homes will be flooded with guests, music, food, drinks and other goodies.

By the end of January, the thrill of this kind of companionship that these warm guests bring will be gone with the Yuletide, sadly.

The drudgery of the routine life in an orphanage will walk back through all doors again to reign, all the while wishing the next Christmas with its din away.

While Jews celebrate Hanukkah, which is the Festival of Lights, Christians remember the birth of Christ, who is the Light of the world.

As an expression of love and light received from Christ, many remember orphans, the sick, street children and other less privileged people.

While children with parents and families ― whether biological or not ― enjoy love, warmth and nurturing in the comfort of their homes, however it may be, orphans and street children have nowhere to turn for that kind of consistent experience.

Maternal deprivation itself, especially if unattended, is a source of attachment disorders, anxiety, depression, aggression, and difficulty forming close relationships in adulthood.

Apart from the fact that these homes may not be warm and too comfortable because of the living conditions, there is less stimulation and human interaction as the adults caring for these children may be few and so unable to give attention to everyone as needed.

Homes

Orphanages and homes may change caregivers, and street children may meet random people who show love and care, but who may not be around all the time, especially when they need them most.

This is why the love feasts, soup kitchens and gifts are appreciated at this time of the year.

These children are vulnerable and find themselves in situations that place them at risk for multiple psychosocial problems.

Disruptive behaviour and all kinds of abuse thrive in these homes.

Sexual abuse among the children and abuse from the caregivers in all forms ―sexual, physical, emotional, and verbal― are usually not uncommon in these places.

These compound the trauma that the children face and ultimately affect their academic performance.
 

Studies

Studies have shown that these early childhood experiences that occur in less supervised orphanages and homes can alter the brain development of the children, impacting negatively on their growth, learning and social interactions.

In developed countries, where foster parents and home experiences are expected to absorb the trauma, even adjusting to the new surroundings, from being unloved to being loved, being rejected to being accepted, and being needy to having an abundance, does not happen so smoothly.

Physical and behavioural problems like difficulty in learning, in following instructions and in bonding with foster parents and other siblings may persist.

The inability to catch up with milestones may render them children with all forms of delay in growth, including intellectual delays, attachment disorders and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

The way forward is to encourage families to care for their own.

The government can offer such caregivers monthly stipends or cash rewards to support their upkeep. 

Where this is not possible, these children should be integrated into foster homes as soon as possible while they are very young.

Braved through

Many children have braved these odds and turned out to be resilient responsible citizens.

Most, however, turn out to struggle through life with many mental health issues. Others become miscreants and misfits. 

And so, as you visit these children this Christmas to put a smile on their faces, reflect on the potential scars that may be growing behind the smiles you see (among both children and caregivers) and ask yourself, “What more will Christ have me, or us, do for such children beyond rice and chicken at Christmas?” 

The writer is a Child Development Expert/ Fellow at Zero-to-three Academy, USA.

E-mail: nanaesi_19@yahoo.co.uk