There’s a silent crisis spreading through our generation.
A crisis not of love, but of definition.
We no longer know what it means to be a husband or a wife.
The modern world has redefined marriage into transactions, pleasures and appearances.
It has created “husbanks”, men who provide money without mantle and “wives” who wear rings without revelation.
The word husband comes from an ancient root meaning “house-bonder”, the one who builds and sustains the home.
But today, many men are no longer building; they are buying.
They think wealth replaces wisdom and financial power replaces spiritual covering.
Yet the true husband, as Yehoshua modelled, loves by sacrifice, not by status.
He covers, prays and protects; he doesn’t just pay bills; he pays attention.
Rise of the husbank
In our time, marriage has become a commercial partnership, not a covenant union.
The Husbank is the man society has shaped, measured by income, not by insight.
He can afford the wedding, but cannot lead the home.
He has mastered the economy but lost authority.
He buys gifts but cannot give guidance.
When a man’s identity is tied to his wallet, he will always fear a woman who walks in wisdom.
Such a man cannot lead; he can only impress.
But Yehoshua called men to be husbands; servants of love, keepers of purpose and carriers of spiritual responsibility.
Lost Desire for noble women
Today’s men are seeking charm instead of character, sex appeal instead of spiritual strength.
The modern man is captivated by curves but blind to covenant.
He pursues the “sexy woman” but not the noble wife described in Proverbs 31; the one whose price is far above rubies.
Men who were once meant to discern virtue now desire vanity.
They chase the woman who looks good in public but carries no oil in private.
She knows how to pose, but not how to pray; how to attract attention, but not how to host presence.
A generation of men has lost the ability to recognise the virtue gate in a woman; the unseen anointing that sustains a home and births destiny. They marry bodies, not scrolls; faces, not faith; chemistry, not covenant.
This is why many men end up in emotional chaos: they entered relationships by sight, not by spirit.
What begins with lust often ends with loss. What was supposed to be a throne becomes a trap.
True beauty is not in the hips, lips or fingertips; it is in the woman who fears YHWH, who carries wisdom, reverence and prophetic discernment.
A man who marries such a woman finds not just a partner, but a portal to destiny.
Until men are retrained to seek noble wives, not sensual idols, society will keep reproducing homes that are built on seduction rather than submission.
The Scripture never said, “He who finds a beautiful woman finds a good thing.”
It said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
Finding a wife is not about locating a woman; it’s about discerning a mantle.
Marriage without training
Both men and women must be trained before they marry. Not in romance, but in responsibility.
A man must be trained to lead in love; a woman must be trained to submit in wisdom.
When Yehoshua described marriage, He compared it to the mystery of Christ and the Church, meaning it takes death to self for union to live.
Today, however, many enter marriage emotionally untrained, spiritually unprepared and psychologically unstable.
We are quick to host weddings, but we do not prepare souls.
We teach couples how to pose for pictures, but not how to posture before God.
When people who are not yet husbands and wives in character marry, what they have is not a covenant; it is a collision.
Spirit behind modern marriages
Modern marriage is often two broken people seeking comfort, not covenant.
The world calls this love, but in truth, it is emotional dependency.
We now see spiritual polygamy masked as monogamy: one partner at a time, but several in a lifetime.
Every sexual bond creates spiritual fusion; the oneness that was meant for a lifetime becomes fractured, polluted and recycled.
That is why Yehoshua said, “Whoever divorces and marries another commits adultery.”
Because heaven sees oneness as a permanent fusion, not a contract, but a covenant.
The Church must awaken to the literacy of covenant again.
Marriage was never meant to be legal; it was meant to be spiritual.
The state may issue certificates, but only God establishes oneness.
The true marriage is not in the court, not under the pastor’s microphone, but in the covenant of blood and word between two scrolls joined by divine purpose.
Until the Church returns to this order, we will keep producing weddings, not marriages; ceremonies without covenants and rings without revelation.
The absence of divine fusion turns marriage into mere coexistence, not oneness.
And these are marriages that begin with music and end with mourning.
When marriage is entered without revelation, the melody of love quickly turns into the mourning of regret.
Only when Yehoshua becomes the centre—not the guests, not the gown, not the glamour—does the song continue into eternity.
In the end, a man is not called to find a woman; he is called to find his wife.
And a woman is not called to marry a man but to unite with her divine covering in covenant, not convenience.
That is the true mystery of marriage.
Everything else is ceremony!
