Many adults struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, relationship difficulties, chronic illnesses and even premature death are often carrying invisible wounds that began in childhood.
These invisible wounds were inflicted by childhood situations known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
ACEs are traumatic or highly stressful events that occur before the age of 18. While it is true that not everyone who experiences ACEs develops such struggles, the higher a person’s exposure, the greater the risk of lifelong physical, emotional and social consequences.
Some of the common ACEs in Ghana include physical abuse disguised as discipline, emotional abuse through insults, ridicule and constant criticism, sexual abuse, neglect due to poverty or parental absence, witnessing domestic violence, divorce, substance abuse within the home and growing up with a caregiver suffering from untreated mental illness.
The death of a parent, child labour, exposure to community violence and prolonged bullying in schools also leave lasting emotional scars.
Many firstborn children delivered outside marriage carry distinctive emotional and psychological burdens, often becoming innocent victims of circumstances they neither created nor chose.
These experiences, which occur during the most critical years of brain development, can cause irreparable damage to a potentially bright future.
Repeated exposure to fear and stress without a consistent emotional buffer keeps a child’s stress response permanently switched on.
Excessive stress hormones can interfere with the development of areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, attention, learning, memory and decision-making.
Adult survivors may struggle with anxiety, depression, substance misuse, poor impulse control, unhealthy relationships, unemployment and even suicide.
They are also at greater risk of hypertension, diabetes, obesity, heart disease and certain cancers.
Tragically, it is often only after a life has been lost that family and friends begin to recognise the red flags they once overlooked, which were linked to unaddressed childhood trauma.
A child who suddenly becomes withdrawn, aggressive, fearful, performs poorly in school or develops unexplained physical complaints may not be “stubborn” or “lazy.”
They may be signalling emotional distress.
Yet, many adults respond with harsher punishment instead of asking what has happened to the child.
Bold
Though Ghana needs bold decisions that include public education on ACES, positive parenting programmes, strengthening families, trauma-informed school environments and the enforcement of child protection laws without fear or favour, everyone can decide to be an emotional buffer to a struggling child.
Emotional buffers intervene by interrupting the cycle of toxic stress before it causes lasting harm.
This happens when an adult positions themselves as a trusted and responsive ally who provides comfort, reassurance, and a sense of safety to help regulate the child’s stress response.
This buffer may be a loving parent or caregiver, a concerned neighbour, a supportive grandparent, aunt, uncle or older sibling, a teacher who believes in the child, a mentor, coach, pastor, religious leader or even a trusted counsellor or psychologist.
Positive friendships, safe and predictable routines at home and school, and opportunities to develop emotional regulation skills also serve as important protective buffers.
Through listening without judgement, comforting, protecting and consistently meeting the child’s emotional needs, these supportive relationships help lower stress hormone levels, promote healthy brain development and teach healthy ways of coping with life’s challenges.
Rather than allowing adversity to become a lifelong burden, emotional buffers help children process painful experiences, build resilience and maintain hope.
In many cases, it is not the adversity itself that determines a child’s future, but whether they have someone who consistently stands beside them through it.
The encouraging news is that ACEs do not determine destiny.
We cannot afford to wait until children who experience adversity grow into adults vulnerable to addiction, untreated depression, violence or stress-related illnesses before questioning the failures that shaped their lives.
The writer is a Child development expert/Fellow of the Zero-To-Three
Academy, USA. E-mail:
