The need to speak ill of the dead; Case of Mohammed Al Fayed
Mohamed Al-Fayed, born January 27, 1930 and died August 2023, (94years), was an Egyptian billionaire businessman whose residence and primary business interests were in the United Kingdom from mid-1960s.
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His business interests included ownership of the Hôtel Ritz Paris, Harrods department store and Fulham Football Club. At the time of his death in 2023, Al Fayed's wealth was estimated at US$2 billion by Forbes.
Mohammed Al Fayed died last year, and today, over 30 women who worked at his luxury store Harrolds in London, in their teenage years, have come out with sexual assaults and rape cases against him.
These women with citizenship of America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other parts of the world, are claiming Al Fayed raped them in hotels and private properties in London and across Europe.
Some are claiming they contracted sexually transmitted disease after being raped, but couldn't voice out because they were intimidated by Al Fayed, and, simply scared of loosing lose their jobs.
Libel suits
In 1995, the British lifestyle magazine The Vanity Fair attempted to blow the cover off this matter, but was slapped with defamatory suit by Al Fayed, which resulted in the magazine beating a quick retreat.
Again, in 1998, channel 4 began a story about the matter after one of the victims contacted them, and again, a suit was filed by Al Fayed, channel 4 dropped the project and the victim sorted with NDA clause.
Fear and intimidation
These sexual assaults were committed by Al Fayed, between 1988 and the year 2000, but the victims are now coming out; they couldn't even report to the police, out of fear of the man, or, for losing their jobs.
So far, 35 of these victims have come out, with many more lined up in the pipeline. Report has it that one victim reported to the police while Al Fayed was alive, but absolutely no action was taken. He was powerful.
My issue with such matters has always been how the victims have always had to wait for decades, before coming out. But my comfort is also that, when they did, the laws have always come to their aid, swiftly.
In our Ghanaian scenario where there's this saying that "we don't speak ill of the dead" for which reason when thieves, murderers, liars and fools die, we eulogize them with pretentious angelic tributes.
Be cautious
For that, I was extremely cautious about my interactions with female colleagues at the workplace during my years in England, since a lady can claim of sexual harassment even when compliment her.
If you're interested in, or fancy a lady and desirous to date, you engage her in normal chats over a period of time, ask for her number, and if she gives you, you ask her for a date(dinner, movies etc)
After a couple of dates and depending on how cordial and chemistry mutuality unfolds, then you could invite her home for coffee or tea. You must not attempt to pounce on her, else, you'll put yourself in danger.
Ask her what she would like; coffee, tea, juice. Serve her, have a chat, see her off and stay out of danger. Don't even talk about sex in your conversation; tell her jokes to make her laugh and a bit of future plans.
When the dates(nights out) and home visits become frequent, and conversations more open and informal, then you can start holding hands, getting touchy, and light passionate kisses will naturally follow.
Culture shock
But there was one thing I found uncomfortable during my early years in England: this white girl I was dating would kiss me at the Mall, restaurant, bus station etc in daylight, since it wasn't my African culture.
And there is one thing unique about them: they keep diary and religiously record wherever you go with them and whatever happens. So in case of any eventuality, the diary becomes a vital source information.
And one other thing that took me by surprise was when I first went on a date with my English girlfriend and she wanted to pay 50% of both taxi fare and meals at the restaurant. That was a very great shock to me.
I pleaded with her not to bother because I'll take up the bills; she wasn't happy but i insisted. I got a call from her mother the next day, asking why I had to bear all the cost and I told her that's my culture.
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Mother's call
And she said: you're in England and our culture doesn't put all the cost of an outing with a lady, on the man so you must take note and not repeat it". I simply couldn't believe my ears, considering what I know.
I thanked and promised not to do that again. But I continued because I just was not familiar with my girlfriend picking up part of the bills. And her mother called to ask if I work for my money or deal in drugs.
I knew she was obviously being euphemistic and I laughed it off. English culture dictates that the bride's parents to pay for the bridal cost during wedding. So you obviously don't dare push your wife about.
But I had just traveled from a society where it's the sole responsibility of the man to even make advanced payment for what the lady wears for a date. How much more the cost of transport, food, drinks and so on?
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Women-protective
In all, the laws of the United Kingdom and all these advanced countries tend to, ruthlessly, protect women, and therefore, in your dealings, you must, at all times, be extremely mindful of your acts and utterances.
It is common to see men passing comments about God-given anatomical contours of female colleagues at the workplace, which they consider normal and harmless. But it is very dangerous in England.
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