Male child preference fades among modern men - Fertility advisor explains the science

The age-old perception that male children are more valuable than female children seems to be gradually fading among modern Ghanaian men.

This is in contrast to the past, where it was common to hear stories of men who, in their desire for male children, abandoned their spouses or took on second wives.

But as The Mirror discovered in interviews with seven Ghanaian men in Accra recently, that mindset seems to be shifting. 

Some recently married women interviewed, however, noted feeling pressure from the families of their spouses to have male children.

Fertility advisor and Resident Obstetrician-Gynaecologist at the Greater Accra Regional Hospital, Dr Rex Amedo, also provided insight into the science of conception and how modern medicine counters some long-held cultural beliefs.

Stories from the past

Delving into some stories from the past, Madam Helena Ahiawoadzi, a 48-year-old educationist, shared how she was ridiculed by her husband’s family after giving birth to four daughters. 

“My late husband never said it out loud, but I knew deep down he wanted a son. There was a time, he even jokingly threatened me. His family brought concoctions and gave me advice on traditional priests I could visit. I only found peace after I had my fifth and last child, a boy,” she said.

In Konongo, 66-year-old retired teacher Kwame Fosu recalled how people congratulated him more on having his two sons than his daughters.

“We were told boys carry the name, and that’s what matters. But because of my education, I made sure to treat all my children equally,” he said.

A 72-year-old contractor admitted bringing two additional women into his marriage in search of a son after his first wife had four girls.

“They all gave birth to girls. I ended up with nine daughters. Ironically, it’s my daughters who have given me grandsons,” he remarked.

Changing views among modern men

Our interviews gave some indications that the preference for males was changing and the interviewees were surprised that such mindset still existed.

“I’m surprised that in this day and age, some young men still believe male children are better. When my wife and I had our daughter last year, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. She’s mine. That’s what matters,” 33-year-old banker Manuel Kofi Adjei said.

For 28-year-old plumber, Kofi Baako, the idea of choosing a child’s gender seemed pointless. “No one can stress me and my future wife. We’re not God to be deciding gender.”

Adding his view, 27-year-old student, Selassie Agbogla said he had seen a lot of females breaking barriers and being an inspiration so he didn’t care much about the gender.
 

“I just know that my baby girls will receive premium princess treatment,” he added.

However, 34-year-old engineer Kwame Batansigbe from the Upper East Region said he still preferred sons due to cultural reasons. 

“My culture is such that each of my siblings has a different surname, meaning I am the only one with my surname. If I don’t have boys, my line ends so I want two kids, both should be boys,” he explained.

A 29-year old Fashion Designer, Richard Eric Ofosu, also expressed his wish for a male child first before female.

“I think firstborn females go through a lot of stress especially if they have to take care of their younger siblings in future. They may feel pressured to do immoral stuff just to support. I think men rather should carry that burden, so women can relax,” he said.

Recently married women

Among five recently married women interviewed, three admitted feeling pressure to have sons, but that pressure was not from their husbands.

“After my second daughter, my father-in-law started visiting more often with herbs. My husband doesn’t care about gender, but his family is another story,” said 33-year-old nurse Linda Borteyman.

For homemaker, Mrs Rita Darko, her in-laws were more friendly and welcoming after her third born came out male.

“I think our older generation still needs to be educated on this matter because they haven’t changed,” she noted.

The science behind a baby’s gender

Breaking down the science behind conception and a baby’s gender, Dr Amedo explained that the sex of a baby is determined at the moment a sperm fertilises an egg.

He added that this process has nothing to do with either parent’s wishes or actions but purely nature and genetic make-up, noting however that it is the man’s sperm that determines the gender.

“A woman’s egg always carries an X chromosome, while a man’s sperm carries either X or Y. If an X sperm fertilises the egg, the baby is a girl (XX). If it’s a Y sperm, the baby is a boy (XY).

He clarified that although men scientifically and genetically determine the gender, the process is purely random and cannot be controlled.
Dr Amedo added that fertility involves both partners.

“For women, it is more crucial for their eggs to be of good quality, healthy and chromosomally normal. For men, it’s more about quantity.

Millions of sperm are released during intercourse, but only one needs to fertilise the egg. The sheer quantity of it increases the chances of one succeeding in fertilising the egg.”

He also debunked myths suggesting that diet, timing or sexual position could influence a baby’s sex.

“There’s no scientific proof for any of that. The only way to medically select gender is through In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) and that is also not so straightforward,” he explained.

Dr Amedo urged couples not to blame each other for gender or fertility challenges. 

“If you’ve tried to conceive for a year without success, seek help together. It is more important for both couples and their baby to be healthy than it is to fight over gender,” he said.