Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Today, our society is fast decaying. Most people put the focus on themselves and exploit any chance for their selfish ends.

Bribery and corruption have become the order of the day and we appear not to have any mechanisms to control the high level of indiscipline because today role models are hard to find. 

One area where corruption abounds is job seeking. Many people in authority have narrowed appointments to a ‘single digit’. If you are a woman, pay in kind for a job. 

Academic qualification, competence, honesty and integrity do not matter. Sex with a prospective boss will take care of everything.

The scenario

Many young women have come to me for counselling with horrible stories. They apply for jobs they qualify for; they attend interviews and are asked to wait for their results. 

Then a call comes in from a top man in the establishment to meet him at a restaurant or hotel to talk about the appointment. The boss goes straight to the point: you must do something in kind to get the job

One client said the manager of an establishment said he would sign the appointment letter only on her naked breast!

Women are confused when ‘strangers’ make sexual demands. To do it or not becomes a hard decision.

There are also young women who use what they have to get what they want.

A woman can easily read a man. She can tell if you will bite her bait. With suggestive postures, smiles and comments, she hints she is available if you press the right buttons. 

When a man is aroused, he becomes completely helpless and vulnerable. She goes in for the kill and gets the job, admission or promotion.

The challenge

Today, with over 40 universities and many other tertiary institutions, Ghana produces tens of thousand of graduates each year but the formal sector can absorb less than 10 per cent of them. 

Unfortunately, our curriculum is too grammar based, with little training for practical skills. Most graduates are completely untrained to start anything on their own and spend years searching for non-existing jobs. 

Today, for many graduates any job will do.

Many years ago, there was a story about a young graduate in a neighbouring country who took up the job of a driver’s mate. Ghana is getting there.

There is a lady with a master’s degree in Economics working in a nursery school and another working as a receptionist in an eight-room hotel on a monthly salary of GH¢200.

It is simply ‘noko fio’ or something to keep body and soul together, as a woman has many needs. She may also have parents who have sacrificed for her to get  through school. 

To be a burden on parents after school is hard to accept. The temptation for any of such desperate women to give in for job is real and many married women and those with fiancés have given in. 

Unfortunately, for some, giving in once marks only the beginning. The boss continues to harass you. You must keep giving or he finds a reason to sack you.

There are also cases where women give in to up to three men in one organisation to get a job. Later, the women get to know it is a scheme to fool women. 

A big man uses you and gives a ‘back pass’ to a colleague to use you, even when they know there is no vacancy in the establishment.

There is also the case of a man who forced his fiancée to accept a man’s offer. The lady got the job but the man left her, claiming he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she had been used by an unknown assailant.

Will you give sex for job?

If you give sex for a favour, you simply join the oldest profession in the world — prostitution. It does not matter if you do it once; fact is, sex is not just a physical action for a moment. It is a complete metamorphoses of body, mind and soul. Sex changes everything and you are never the same again. You must, therefore, be strong and take pride in your womanhood. 

Be patient and wait. In His time, God makes all things beautiful. He will give you a better offer because you have rejected evil and, therefore, honoured Him.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do and all your plans will succeed. (Prov. 16:3). 

Save sex for the right man and at the right time but surely not for a job.

Email: jydboakye02yahoo.com.

The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of Your Guide to Marriage, Love Unlimited and The journey of Love.

Mobile: 0208181861