One day after I had chattered all day with my friends and some family members, my father sat me down for the last chat of the day.
“Son,” he said, “have you observed Papa Kwame and Papa Moro very well?”
Those were two farmers in the village, and, yes, I knew them quite well.
“Which of them do you respect most?” my father asked.
Papa Kwame
In the village, our respect for Papa Moro was much higher than our respect for Papa Kwame, and I told my father without hesitating.
But when he asked me for the reason why respect for Papa Moro was high, I couldn’t tell.
“We all respect Papa Moro,” father told me and explained why.
“It is because he talks less and Papa Kwame talks too much; that’s why.”
Suddenly, the matter became clear in my mind as I thought about it.
True, Papa Kwame was a serious talkative, and incurably so. He could hardly keep his mouth shut.
He was the kind of person people walked away from when they saw him approaching them.
Give him the chance and he could engage you nonstop, wasting your time.
Hardworking as Papa Kwame was, he could not be trusted with secrets because he leaked them as quickly as he heard them; to the extent that he often landed himself in a quarrel for his tale telling.
We knew almost everything about Papa Kwame because he was quick at revealing them to us.
Even we, younger people of the village, knew about his family issues, his farming plans, his dislike for some of his neighbours, and where he set his giant traps.
He seemed to be weightless, having no well-guarded personal plans and boundaries beyond which no one should cross.
He was like a company cup out of which everybody drank from.
Papa Moro
On the contrary, Papa Moro talked less and hardly raised his voice in the small village public.
You wouldn’t get him chattering uncontrollably around the place, never pushing his nose into other people’s affairs unless his opinion was sought.
Even then, he spoke gently and said little.
We wouldn’t describe Papa Moro as antisocial; just that he didn’t want to meddle in matters that didn’t concern him.
In the village, he would stop and greet, make a few remarks about the weather or some other issue, and then walk on.
Because Papa Moro talked less, we held him in a higher esteem than we held Papa Kwame.
It was as if Papa Moro had a hidden value inside him that demanded respect without the use of force.
Thinking about it today, I believe Papa Kwame carried his extrovert personality beyond limit, resulting in the little regard people had for him.
Father’s point
Why did my father draw my attention to the two men’s demeanours and what did he want me to learn?
Perhaps he had observed that I was becoming like Papa Kwame in my chattering and tried to stop me right in time.
If so, I wonder whether my father was able to nib my chattering behaviour in the bud.
For, over the years, I’ve noticed how my extrovert personality sometimes comes in the way of a quiet meditation and the need to maintain calculated silence for fruitful effects.
For all you know, Papa Imoro didn’t have any strong personality beyond that of Papa Kwame, but because he kept silent, we construed it to mean wisdom.
For Scripture says, “Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and intelligent when he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:18).
And, as one writer puts it, “Silence can be a powerful tool in demonstrating wisdom.
By choosing not to speak, we can avoid unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding.”
Indeed, I know about scores of situations in my own life when by simply keeping quiet, I have averted possible conflict due to misunderstanding.
There is certainly something good about keeping our mouths shut sometimes!
Personalities
In our media and political spaces, I have observed the never-ending chattering of certain persons, leading to insults, quarrels, conflict, waste of time, fruitlessness, and even fights.
Those of us who do this shouldn’t forget that we are accumulating disrespect.
Think about it: why do you think God gave us two nostrils to breathe through, two eyes to see properly, two ears to listen attentively, two hands to work with, two legs to move about, but only one mouth with which to speak?
He wants us to speak less, because speaking less prevents talk-related anger, fosters good relationships, avoids miscommunication pitfalls, and encourages active listening.
Therefore, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19).
For anger, which is often generated by too much talking, does not work the righteousness of God.
“Where words are many,” says the Scriptures, “sin is not absent (Proverbs 10:19).
