Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips

Some women come in with very sad stories about their relationships. They shed tears as they share their stories and when asked why they stay in such hopeless and dead relationships they end their stories with ‘..but I love him!’

Imagine a woman in a good job who has been in a relationship for four years. She badly wants to marry but the man says it is out of the question. He has many girlfriends and would abuse and humiliate her in public.

He has warned her never to call her and he makes unrealistic demands including huge sums of money which he spends on other women.

And she wants me to tell her what to do because she loves him very much!

Signs of bad relationship

Your man abuses you physically and emotionally. He manipulates you into needing him and when you fall for him he treats you anyhow and makes you think it is for your good.

He has low self-esteem and feel insecure about you and therefore prevents you from pursuing your goals and life interests.

He is never there when you need him and never introduces you to any of his friends or relatives. He never discusses the future with you.

You can’t trust him but he makes all the decisions about your relationship. You see nothing but selfishness, dishonesty, criticism, immorality and poor communication.

Why women stay in bad relationships

Mental factor: Some women love too much because they were deprived of love, approval and respect in their early days. They want men who are abusive, critical and controlling so that as they try to help their men by loving them they heal their past.

The greater the pain in the relationship the more their early pains are activated and the stronger they hold on to their men.

They ignore anyone who tries to pull them out and when their relationships end they avoid good men and go for similar bad men because they create the drama they need to heal themselves.

Emotional factor: A relationship is a woman’s greatest emotional need because she finds fulfilment and security in a relationship.

Some find identity in a man and feel incomplete and failure outside a relationship. They, therefore, fear separation and what will happen if they leave their men.

Leaving is therefore very difficult for some women. They have high tolerance for staying in abusive relationships.