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Make every effort to restore your failing relationship but if nothing works, hug and say good bye.  Picture: Theophilus Forson

Are you in a complicated relationship?

A relationship is a very risky business because anything can happen to any relationship. A relationship that is seen as romantic, exciting and fulfilling can turn sour and lifeless.

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Today, a new term for some relationships gone bad is to refer to them as complicated relationship, a one sided relationship in which one partner wants to hold on while the other wants to let go.

Imagine a young man who fell in love with a beautiful young woman. He saw the parents to do ‘knocking’ and gave her a promissory ring. Then his attitude changed. He does not visit or call often. 

He is always ‘swinging’ with different women and ‘spraying’ them with expensive gifts. 

The gifts, outings have stopped with her but he keeps quiet. She does not know what the future holds and she is too embarrassed to talk about it to her parents about her problem.

Signs of complicated relationship

You love him but he merely tolerates or accommodates you. You fear your relationship is about to end but you hold on hoping to work things out. 

In some cases, a partner is in denial state; she sees many things going wrong but refuses to see she has problems. 

Your partner is just using you or too selfish to care. He ignores you but gets close for personal benefits ; a man needs sex and a woman needs financial assistance.

Your lover’s behaviour has changed. You see your relationship dying and keep asking what the situation is but no one can say what is happening. 

Sometimes, your lover avoids you and hopes you will know he is no longer interested in the relationship. 

You are unhappy and tell the world how frustrated you are in your relationship.

What leads to complicated relationship?

Your lover has fallen out of love and lost interest in you. In some cases, he has fallen in love with another or gone back to his ex. 

In some cases, some partners keep fighting and exchanging very painful words and therefore become bitter about each other.

 Relationships revolve around needs. Lack of emotional needs, for example, may lead to a complicated relationship.

Dealing with complicated relationship

Deal with your issues as soon as possible. First accept you have a problem. Organise your thoughts to clarify your issues. 

Choose the right place and choose a time when you are both relaxed and ready to listen.

Be diplomatic and speak the truth in love. Make sure your body language and vocal tone are appropriate. 

Allow your partner to respond and list possible alternatives to find a way out. Apologise if you are guilty and forgive each other. 

Your relationship may not be as complicated as you think. It will work if you work at it.

Are you in a complicated relationship?

Take a close look at your relationship. If it is complicated you know it. 

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Trust and commitment are almost gone and you do not know where you stand because your relationship does not fit into a normal relationship because it is multiple, bisexual or open.

Make every effort to restore your failing relationship but if nothing works, hug and say good bye. 

Almost always, a complicated relationship does not work but ending it is better than staying in a relationship that has no future. 

Heartbreaks heal with time but staying in complicated relationship grows your pain with time. 

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Never compromise your life on the altar of a complicated relationship.

 

 

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