Learning processes in marriage — Author shares her experience
Sometimes we cannot control what comes our way in life, but with the right frame of mind and the power of God we can determine how certain things can impact on us. I am an author, a conference speaker, and the founder of Laurenda Kuffour Ministries (Laurendakuffour.com). I decided to take up these roles to enable me to communicate the challenges that confronted me in my marriage and send out a message that will have a positive impact on the lives of other people.
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I married quite young and, looking back now, I did not understand what marriage entailed, both in the spiritual and physical sense. The little Bible knowledge I had taught me to abstain from sex before marriage and I held on to that with all passion. What I did not know about marriage was the level of importance to attach to it.
I did not realise that I needed to be both physically and emotionally complete in order to complement another human being. I did not know that behind every human being is a spiritual kingdom and that a conflict between kingdoms can ensue as a result of marriage.
I had never heard about temperaments and did not understand that certain temperaments clash unless they both undergo spiritual transformation. I was brought up by a single grandmother so I had no idea what it meant to be married.
Conflicts in marriage
No wonder my marriage did not succeed and I was overwhelmed with daunting challenges. I was using my strength and my understanding to make it work. I was using what was comfortable to me, based on my understanding of societal, educational and religious knowledge, using that as a yardstick to judge my spouse.
Little did I know that he also had a yardstick that was very different from mine because his educational choices and level were different; so were his community and parental beliefs. We headed for a collision and a separation that eventually resulted in divorce. Our inability to tolerate each other made us two instead of one.
The result was bitterness, hatred and anger that stemmed from an unforgiving spirit and feelings of fear and betrayal. What kept me going was my faith in God and my desire to obey His will.
I was determined to put the broken pieces together through self- discovery and the power of God. That is when the Spirit of God found me and started teaching me His ways.
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The Lord taught me that though I wanted to obey Him, I was mistaking certain social norms, parental advice and educational knowledge to be God’s doctrines. I was determined to succeed and to help others so He gave me insights and revelations to help me organise my life and mend my ‘broken heart.’
I put together the revelations I got into a book titled “Is This Marriage About God?”
Responsible adults
Our children need responsible adults. Our country needs citizens with emotional maturity. My ministry now has a sanctuary for women who are angry and bitter, women who feel betrayed, and lonely.
It provides them with an opportunity to fellowship and be encouraged to put their lives back together, nurturing love for even those who have hurt them because that is the essence of Christianity; the ability to love those who persecute you. As for loving those who love you, even pagans excel in that.
We are organising a Valentine’s Day love fellowship for women in this category so that they do not fall prey to social vices and the programme is on the theme: “Finding Fulfilment as a Broken Woman.”
We would like to hear from you; either as a participant or as a philanthropist donating gifts (for our mothers, sisters and daughters who have nowhere to go on Val’s Day).
We want to show them that love does not end, regardless of their situation, and the end of one situation can be turned into the beginning of a greater solution. Call 0244 244509 for booking.
Venue is available to participants only.