Love abroad, crisis at home

Each time headlines scream of a Ghanaian husband stabbing, shooting, or killing his wife, or a wife poisoning or shooting her husband in America, Canada or Europe, the shock is followed by a haunting ritual.

We search their wedding photos online.

The smiles are wide.

The kente is radiant.

The joy looks real. And then the unavoidable question arises: What went so terribly wrong?

Marriage, once regarded as one of the most stable and sacred institutions within Ghanaian culture, is under serious threat, especially among Ghanaians living in the diaspora.

Across North America, Europe, and other foreign destinations, divorce rates are rising sharply within Ghanaian communities, leaving behind broken homes, traumatised children, and, in extreme cases, deadly violence that shocks both host countries and Ghana itself.

On several occasions on my YouTube platform, I have called on chiefs, queen mothers, clergy, marriage counsellors, and the youth to pause and critically review our marriage systems and procedures.

The urgency is undeniable. What was once a peaceful institution rooted in family, tradition, and communal accountability is now showing visible cracks.

Cracks that, if ignored, could lead to total collapse.

Leaders of Ghanaian churches abroad paint a worrying picture.

Some pastors reveal that as many as 73 per cent of marital cases brought to them for mediation end in divorce, many without clearly explained reasons.

These are not newly married couples alone.

Many are unions that began with traditional rites, church blessings, and overwhelming family support.

Yet, they unravel with alarming speed once exposed to the pressures of life abroad.

Several factors are driving this crisis

One major issue is unprepared migration-driven marriages.

Some men marry women back home and sponsor them to join them abroad, believing relocation alone will strengthen the marriage.

Instead, unresolved character differences, power struggles, cultural shock, and unmet expectations quickly surface.

In some cases, negative attitudes from either spouse ignite constant conflict, pushing marriages toward breakdown.

Another troubling factor is hidden agendas.

There are reports of individuals, both men and women, who enter marriages primarily as a pathway to travel.

Once settled abroad, some abandon the marriage, reconnect with former partners or pursue new relationships, leaving behind betrayal and bitterness.

These actions not only end marriages; they fuel rage, resentment, and, in extreme cases, violent retaliation.

Economic pressure also plays a significant role. Life in the diaspora is demanding.

Long work hours, multiple jobs and financial stress reduce quality family time and emotional connection.

When communication collapses, suspicion thrives.

Small misunderstandings escalate into accusations of infidelity, neglect or disrespect.

Legal and social systems in foreign countries further complicate matters.

Some women, according to community reports, file for divorce quickly, eject their husbands from the home, and become single parents, sometimes to qualify for child support or state benefits.

On the other hand, some men exploit freedom abroad to engage in extramarital affairs, exposing their families to emotional trauma and legal consequences, including deportation.

When these conflicts are left unresolved, the results can be catastrophic.

What begins as marital disagreement can spiral into domestic violence-- husbands beating wives, wives attacking husbands, stabbings, shootings, poisonings and murders.

Each incident leaves communities asking the same painful question: Could this have been prevented?

A chilling reminder came from a social media post by Valentino Nii Noi Nortey on December 21, 2025, in which he publicly wished his wife Gilda Nortey well.

“Happy birthday to my beautiful and lovely wife Mrs. Gilda Adjoa Nortey. May the good Lord continue to bless you and grant your heart desires.

I know I’ve been a handful, but you have always been there for me.

Today, myself and the kids want to say a big thank you for always.

I love you so much.”

Not long after, reports emerged of an unthinkable act: his wife allegedly stabbed.

The nation and the diaspora were left stunned. Again, the question echoed: What provoked such an irreversible act?

These tragedies point to a deeper failure, not just of individuals, but of systems.

Too many couples enter marriage without adequate counselling, emotional maturity, or a realistic understanding of life abroad.

Too many leaders bless unions without ensuring that couples are truly prepared for the psychological, cultural, and legal realities they will face.

It is time, long overdue, for decisive action

Traditional authorities, religious leaders and marriage counsellors must strengthen premarital counselling, making it mandatory, intensive and honest.

Couples must be taught conflict resolution, financial management, emotional intelligence, and the legal implications of marriage and divorce abroad.

Marriage should no longer be treated as a ceremony alone, but as a lifelong responsibility requiring preparation and accountability.

Community leaders in the diaspora must also create safe platforms for early intervention, where couples can seek help without shame before conflicts turn violent.

Silence and stigma are no longer options.

If nothing changes, we will continue to mourn shattered families, orphaned children, and lives lost to preventable rage.

The warning signs are clear.

The time to act is now, before love continues to turn into headlines of blood, regret, and irreversible loss.