The recent incident at Ghana’s Parliament, where a Member of Parliament publicly complimented a schoolgirl on her beauty and remarked that he would “marry her,” has generated widespread debate.
While the MP has apologised, the incident has also opened an important national conversation about child protection, sexual harassment and the responsibility adults bear when interacting with children.
Many Ghanaians have argued that such comments are merely harmless jokes or common expressions within our cultural setting.
Indeed, in many communities, adults have traditionally made playful remarks about “marrying” young children without any malicious intent.
However, culture should never prevent us from examining behaviours in light of what we now understand about child development, safeguarding and the tactics commonly used by child sexual abusers.
Child protection has evolved because our knowledge has evolved.
Sexual harassment is not limited to physical contact.
It also includes unwelcome comments or conduct of a sexual or romantic nature that make another person feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, intimidated, or objectified.
When such comments are directed at a child by an adult, the power imbalance makes the situation even more concerning.
A child visiting Parliament should leave inspired by democracy, leadership and public service.
She should not leave wondering why an influential adult publicly spoke about marrying her.
Children deserve to be seen as children.
Grooming
One of the earliest stages of child sexual abuse is often not abuse itself but grooming.
Grooming involves behaviours that gradually blur healthy boundaries between adults and children.
Perpetrators may single out a child for special attention, excessive compliments, gifts, affectionate language, or jokes with romantic undertones.
Though these behaviours may appear harmless at first, they can gradually normalise inappropriate adult-child interactions and reduce a child’s ability to recognise danger.
This is why child protection experts encourage adults to avoid language that sexualises children or frames them as romantic partners, even jokingly.
Respected public figures who make such remarks are unintentionally sending a message that these interactions are socially acceptable.
Unfortunately, this is how paedophiles also prepare their prey.
If a child repeatedly hears adults joking about marrying her or calling her ‘my wife’ or someone’s girlfriend, she may become less assertive and more trusting.
There is also the child’s immediate emotional experience to consider.
Being singled out in front of classmates, teachers, cameras, and national leaders can be deeply embarrassing.
The child may feel confused, ashamed, self-conscious, or exposed without fully understanding why.
Adolescence is already a period of heightened sensitivity to peer opinion and body image.
Moreover, the typical Ghanaian child often struggles to challenge adults, particularly those in positions of authority.
An MP, teacher, religious leader, family elder or chief carries significant social influence.
Children are naturally taught that respect for such individuals includes being subservient.
This makes it difficult for them to express discomfort or object when boundaries are crossed, even verbally. Adults therefore carry the greater responsibility.
Healthy when…
Complimenting children is healthy when it focuses on qualities that promote confidence, character, and achievement.
These affirm a child’s worth without introducing romantic or sexual undertones.
The discussion should therefore not become a personal attack on one individual.
The apology offered should be acknowledged.
More importantly, the incident should become a learning opportunity for all Ghanaians.
Our cultural norms are not static.
Many practices once considered acceptable have changed as society gained greater understanding of children’s rights and well-being.
Just as we have learned safer ways to discipline children, transport babies, and protect children online, we must also learn safer ways to speak to children.
Protecting children requires more than preventing physical abuse.
It means creating environments where every child feels respected, safe, and free from comments that blur adult-child boundaries.
The conversations we normalise today will become the standards children use to judge tomorrow’s relationships.
The writer is a Child development expert/ Fellow of the Zero-To-Three Academy, USA. E-mail:
