Gospel singer and former Musicians Union of Ghana (MUSIGA) president Diana Hopeson has urged people in troubled marriages to seek help and work towards resolving their differences, but to leave immediately if their lives are under threat.
The former MUSIGA president, the first and only woman to have held the position, said while marriage requires commitment and effort, no one should remain in an unsafe relationship in an attempt to save it.
Diana, who was speaking in an interview with media personality Kafui Dey, made the comments while reflecting on the painful end of her first marriage and the emotional toll the separation took on her.
She said her own marriage eventually reached a point where her life was in danger, making separation inevitable.
“I won't advise anyone to leave their marriage. Let it work. Make it work. Find a solution. Find help. Make it work. Because you need quadruple that energy to stay separated. However, if there’s a death threat to your life, please ask for help and flee.
“Mine, it was a disease. We didn’t even know what kind of disease it was. So, it was inevitable, and my life was in danger,” she said.
Diana therefore advised anyone experiencing a similar situation to prioritise their safety and seek immediate help.
For couples whose marital problems do not pose a threat to their lives, however, Diana believes separation should not always be the first option.
She said the effort and energy people put into ending marriages could instead be channelled into seeking help, resolving their differences and rebuilding their relationships.
“I tell people the energy you need to separate, you need half of that to keep the relationship working,” she said.
Diana, however, acknowledged that leaving a marriage can be emotionally difficult, particularly when children are involved, because former couples remain connected through their children.
“Especially when there’s a child in it. There’s always a constant reminder,” she said.
Reflecting on her own experience, Diana said one of the most difficult parts of leaving her first marriage was letting go emotionally. She described it as having to mourn her former husband even though he was still alive.
“So now I had to mourn. The person is alive, but I have to mourn him and let go of him and leave a single parent when the person is alive,” she said.
The separation also affected her relationship with their son. Diana admitted that she initially struggled whenever she noticed features of his father in the boy, saying even his back and ears could trigger painful emotions.
She eventually recognised that her son was innocent and should not bear the weight of his parents’ failed marriage.
“And it’s like, this is an innocent seven-year-old boy. Why should I hate him because of something not his fault? I had to work myself out of that to love him literally,” she recalled.
