Show gratitude to your lover

Human nature is negatively biased. We tend to think more of what is not working in our lives instead of counting our blessings.

We also tend to take for granted the good things we have and what our lovers and others do for us. 

The fact, however, remains that if you ever expect to be happy in your life and relationship, your first step is always to be grateful for everything that happens in your life.

Robert Emmons, a leading expert on gratitude, explains that gratitude has two components: first is affirmation of goodness, the good things we have received.

The second is to recognise that the source of that goodness is from God or our Maker, who gives us gifts to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

Importance of gratitude

Gratitude brings happiness and life satisfaction. It also boosts feelings of optimism, joy, pleasure, enthusiasm and other positive emotions.

It reduces anxiety and depression. Gratitude is, therefore, good for your body; it improves your immune system, lowers your blood pressure, reduces symptoms of illness and gives you better sleep. 

Gratitude helps you to put situations into perspective. This lessens panic about your failures and weaknesses and opens up ideas to solve your problems. You learn to cope with whatever circumstances you face in your relationship or life.

Gratitude is also a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires you to see how you have been supported by your lover. It encourages you to appreciate everything your lover does for you and to repay them. 

You feel motivated, energetic, content and happy. Gratitude leads to other virtues like laughter, fun, compassion and mercy, which make you commit to each other. It helps you realise you have more than you realise. 

This lessens your need for wanting more all the time. Grateful people are more helpful, compassionate and altruistic. A mindset of gratitude is a powerful tool to enrich everything in your life.

Showing gratitude

Start with you: Savour the good things in your life and focus on your good qualities so that you can show gratitude to others.

Feel good about the good things you do and what your lover does for you. See your day-to-day world with a mind of gratitude and count your blessings.

If you identify a negative trait, switch it off but learn from it. Resolve not to complain, criticise, gossip or keep scores. 

Accept your lover wholeheartedly: Let him or her be herself and focus on the good things he or she does no matter how small.

As you reflect on them, they expand in your mind. At the same time, express gratitude in ways that are meaningful to both of you.

Each day, speak the language of love: physical touch, quality time together, words of affirmation, acts of service, forgiveness and regular exchange of gifts. 

Each day find something good in your lover and be grateful.

Be grateful for everything

Be grateful for everything; for everything good or bad in your health, academic pursuit, skills training, work, finances, relationship, marriage and family. Wish the best for yourself, your lover and others. Be grateful, especially to people who make you happy.

They are the charming gardeners who make your soul blossom.

Gratitude allows the celebration of the present and buffers against negative emotions. The more grateful you are, the stronger your relationship. Johannes Gaether, a professor of art history, says to live in gratitude is to touch heaven. 

St Ignatius of Loyola also sees lack of gratitude as the only real sin. 

Each day, use some of the 8,400 seconds to show gratitude and to give thanks to your lover, others, enemies, rivals and especially to God continuously.

And because all things, including your studies, work and everybody including your colleagues, family and lovers, have contributed to making you what you are today, include everything and everyone in your gratitude.

Be grateful for everything that has happened in your life and give thanks to your Maker for His wondrous deeds in your life.

If you are grateful, God will give you the desire of your heart and make all your dreams come true because His grace is sufficient for any difficulty that life brings your way. 

In all things, give thanks and God will lead you to victory in all areas of your life, including your relationship, marriage and family life.

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